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The 2014 NBA Playoff Coaches and Their Serial Killer Equivalents

popbefore

NBA coaches and serial killers have a lot in common; they’re both cerebral, crafty, and obsessive to a degree, yet simultaneously prone to bouts of maniacal rage and unjustified cruelty towards figures of authority. Just look at this year̵…

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18 Things I Should Have Tweeted As I flipped Between The NBA All-Star Game and The Oscars

Oscars+NBA AllStar Game

Flipping between both events, I found myself mashing the two into each other, but never actually writing down and tweeting any of my thoughts. I can’t let good content go to waste, so I am now going to present all of my thoughts here, for you, right…

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Would You Rather Bang The T-Mobile Girl Or Punch Her White-Rapper Friend In His Smug Face

Would You Rather Bang The T-Mobile Girl Or Punch Her White-Rapper Friend In His Smug Face

Like most people with a penis (or a vagina that likes other vaginas), I’m helplessly in love with the T-Mobile girl. Just to be clear, I’m talking about the newer girl, Carly Foulkes, not Catherine Zeta Jones. And just to be clearer, wh…

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Heat vs Bulls, NBA Eastern Conference Finals: An Existential Breakdown of the Match Up

Miami-Heat-Vs-Chicago-Bulls-Bulls-beats-Heat-at-Close-Range

With the Miami Heat putting away their arch rivals the Boston Celtics in the conference semis, they will now have to go through another elite team that they struggled against during the regular season, the Chicago Bulls. Both teams have explosive o…

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The Full-Body Bump Is The Dumbest Thing In Sports

Full Body Bump

If you check out the Wiki page for the high five you’ll find this highly technical description: The high five is a celebratory hand gesture that occurs when two people simultaneously raise one hand, about head high, and push, slide or slap the flat…

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Holy Taco’s Sports Talk: Carmelo Anthony’s Trade To The Knicks and Its Impact On The Playoff Race

Carmello Anthony Nuggest Knicks

Carmelo Anthony is a player of sport. Specifically, he is a player of the National Basketball Association, a league that, from what I hear, has recently become famous for having its participants attempt to place a bumpy orange spherical bladder in …

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“Golden-voiced” Homeless Man Offered Job With Cleveland Cavilers, Accepts Job From Miami Heat

ted_williams

A rapidly spreading video of a homeless man by the name of Ted Williams showing off his surprising “radio voice” has now become the reason Mr. Williams was offered a full-time job with the Cleveland Cavaliers, offering him the once-in-a-lifetime op…

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A Pre-Cap of LeBron James’ ESPN Hour-Long Signing Announcement Special

A Pre-Cap of LeBron James’ ESPN Hour-Long Signing Announcement Special

 We don’t generally like to toot our own horns around here in the Holy Taco office, but this is probably because our interns do such a mighty fine job at (insert reference to inter-office sexual favors) for us. But today, we somehow manag…

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The Inner Monologue of Lebron James Deciding Which Team to Sign With

The Inner Monologue of Lebron James Deciding Which Team to Sign With

  Decisions, decisions.  I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life, and now, I can’t make up my mind.  My conscious tells me I should stay in Cleveland.  The rest of me tells me that Cleveland is a hell hole that…

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The Reason Lebron James Played Terrible Last Night

The Reason Lebron James Played Terrible Last Night

  If this is how the fans are trying to convince Lebron to stay in Cleveland then they are screwed.   15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports) The Sexiest Poker Players of all Time (BleacherReport) The De-evolution of Facebook (BuzzFeed)…

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The NBA: Where Amazing Happens

The NBA: Where Amazing Happens

  I know this is supposed to be a parody, but I think Iverson’s 15 charges qualify as amazing not in a hey-look-another-basketball-player-got-arrested kind of way. But more of a holy-shit-that’s-a-lot-of-charges-for-one-dude-who…

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