News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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UPDATE: The Duggars Are Still Weird and Gross

posted 03/29/2012
by Jim Tews

UPDATE: The Duggars Are Still Weird and Gross

You guys remember the Duggars, right? Of course you do. How could you forget about America’s fastest reproducing family? Mama Duggar is once again publicly defending her choice to have way too many kids! This time she’s made it her missi…

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A Cure For Baldness, Man Boobs, And Other Dude Problems

posted 03/22/2012
by Jim Tews

Get excited, chrome-domes. They’ve discovered the cause for male pattern baldness, which means they’re one step closer to finding the cure! This is a great time to be in your early thirties. Just as your hair starts disappearing and you…

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Five Things We’ll Miss About Real Encyclopedias

posted 03/14/2012
by Jim Tews

You’ve probably found out by now the news that Encyclopedia Britannica is ceasing production of its hard copy books, and you probably found that on the internet, while reading the news that used to come in paper form. If you were fortunate en…

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Updating China’s Hilarious Population Control Slogans!

posted 02/28/2012
by Jim Tews

In China, most couples are only allowed to have one child. Sure, there’s a few exceptions, but for the most part, average folks are only allowed a single offspring. As an American, it’s oddly unsettling to hear something like that. Your…

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Holy Taco Draws the News: The Oscars

posted 02/25/2012
by Ian Fortey

Tomorrow are the Academy Awards. Please take today to work with friends and family to build up the ability to give a damn.

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Snowbound In Your Car For Two Months: WWHTD?

posted 02/20/2012
by Jim Tews

Somewhere just south of the Arctic Circle, forty-four year old Peter Skyllberg, ended up trapped in his snow-covered car for TWO MONTHS! That’s a really long time. Seriously inconvenient. He was probably paying rent on his apartment for those…

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Holy Taco Draws the News: Chris Brown

posted 02/18/2012
by Ian Fortey

Extra Extra, Chris Brown is a doucher! Anyway, we drew the story for you so you don’t have to read much.

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Holy Taco Hero: A Real Live, Terrifying Mountain Man

posted 02/17/2012
by Jim Tews

If you’re a cabin owner in Utah, your wives are scared for their lives right now. As they should be, and so should you. Why? Because there’s a for real for serious, insane mountain man roaming the wilderness of southern Utah. He sleeps …

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Babies Are Not Exercise Equipment(?)

posted 02/08/2012
by Jim Tews

Great news, everyone! If you’re looking to drop some of that post-baby weight, you’re in luck. Turns out, the fitness solution you’ve been searching for is the very thing that caused your problem in the first place. No, not unprot…

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Holy Taco Draws the News: Superbowl XLVI

posted 02/04/2012
by Ian Fortey

Lots going on this week, but the Superbowl is clearly stealing the show. If, even after you extensive Superbowl coverage, you’re not sure you understand all the hype and significance of the big game, lucky for you we all have MSPaint so we ca…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

UPDATE: The Duggars Are Still Weird and Gross

A Cure For Baldness, Man Boobs, And Other Dude Problems

Five Things We’ll Miss About Real Encyclopedias

Updating China’s Hilarious Population Control Slogans!

Holy Taco Draws the News: The Oscars

Snowbound In Your Car For Two Months: WWHTD?

Holy Taco Draws the News: Chris Brown

Holy Taco Hero: A Real Live, Terrifying Mountain Man

Babies Are Not Exercise Equipment(?)

Holy Taco Draws the News: Superbowl XLVI

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