News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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Ask Holy Taco

posted 10/22/2008
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Here at Holy Taco, we understand that sometimes life poses a question thats incredibly difficult to answer. During those times, you may need someone to help you answer those tough questions. We’re not those people. But that doesn’t me…

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Breaking Bad News With Baby Animals

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Breaking bad news is tough. There’s just no easy way to tell someone that their grandmother died or that mommy blew their college fund on coke or that you’re banging their wife. It’s hard to find the right words of comfort, but no…

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There’s Actually A Site For Christian Nymphos

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Oh, Internet. You give and you give and you give. And just when I think you’re all done giving, you give us ChristianNymphos.org, a site dedicated to the carnal exploits of hardcore Christian women…who want to have hot and steamy sex…

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You Might Want To Skip Dessert

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Call me politically incorrect, but I prefer to to have all my food prepared by chefs that are not cocks. It doesn’t matter what age the cock is, or what cocking school he went to, I just would rather have my food made by chefs…or cooks.…

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Jennifer Aniston And John Mayer Are Engaged

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I used to have these neighbors in college who, every time any girls stopped by my apartment, my neighbor would suddenly appear with his guitar. He’d just come in and be like “oh, hey, I’m just getting back from class, what’…

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8 Haiku Poems Written To Popular Websites

posted 10/20/2008
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We’re always looking for ways to express ourselves by writing as little as possible. Therefore we decided that instead of writing out our views on a few popular websites, we’d use the power of haiku.

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Kim Jong Il Hates Hippies

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Say what you want about Kim Jong Il, but dammit, the man makes a point. Breitbart reports: North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il was outraged at the hairdos while watching a university match and ordered all men to go clean-cut “What kind of hairc…

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Evite To George Bush’s Election Night Party

posted 10/19/2008
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Seems like everyone is throwing election night parties this year, so we thought we’d show you the evite to a very exclusive party thrown by our current president.

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Let’s Hug It Out, Bitch

posted 10/18/2008
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Google Tries To Stop You From Drunk E-mailing

posted 10/17/2008
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Advances in technology are pretty awesome. But like they said in Spiderman, “With great power comes the ability to drunkenly alert your ex-girlfriend that you still think about her when you masturbate.” I think that was the quote, I h…

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Holy Taco Comment Of The Week

posted 10/16/2008
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This weeks winner comes from our “4 Reasons I’m Not Going To Help You Move This Saturday” Post. He must own a pick up truck. WINNER: Max Powers COMMENT: Max Power Says: October 16th, 2008 at 9:59 am “You have a pickup tru…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Ask Holy Taco

Breaking Bad News With Baby Animals

There’s Actually A Site For Christian Nymphos

You Might Want To Skip Dessert

Jennifer Aniston And John Mayer Are Engaged

8 Haiku Poems Written To Popular Websites

Kim Jong Il Hates Hippies

Evite To George Bush’s Election Night Party

Let’s Hug It Out, Bitch

Google Tries To Stop You From Drunk E-mailing

Holy Taco Comment Of The Week

Photo of the Day

Best of Taco