News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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Holy Taco Draws the News: GOP Debates

posted 01/28/2012
by Ian Fortey

In the last year, Taiwan has made a name for itself by making CG reenactments of newsworthy events. Each and every one is awesome. We at Holy Taco thought this was such a great idea, we wanted to steal it and repackage it, except no one here knows…

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Taco Bell To Serve Breakfast-Like Food Stuffs

posted 01/26/2012
by Jim Tews

Great news for those of you who like to drink until seven a.m.: Taco Bell is adding breakfast items to their menu! Since most Taco Bell is consumed in the wee hours of the morning, we kind of already considered their entire menu breakfast food, but…

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Five Wannabe Super Heroes Who Got Arrested

posted 01/13/2012
by Jim Tews

We’d all love to be able to live our lives as caped crusaders. Fighting crime, getting scores of offers from women, but often rejecting them to continue fighting crime. It’s a fantasy life that’s best left for daydreams and rolepl…

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Get Your Tickets To The Disease And Sin Festival Known As Coachella!

posted 01/12/2012
by Jim Tews

The annual music festival held in Indio, California every year is called Coachella. (In case you’re my dad and didn’t know that already.) It’s a music festival like most others, full of people cooler than you, doing some relativel…

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Five Retro Hostess Commercials, In Honor Of Hostess Bakery Declaring Bankruptcy

posted 01/11/2012
by Jim Tews

It’s been a really tough year for the snack food industry. First there was the loss of Dorito’s creator Arch West who passed away not long ago, and now Hostess is filing for bankruptcy. If you’re not familiar with Hostess products…

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7 Weird Celebrity Baby Names And Their Origins

posted 01/09/2012
by Jim Tews

Obviously, this article was inspired by Jay-Z and Beyonce’s latest work, Blue Ivy. It’s not a new album or some sort of designer fragrance, it’s a baby. If you didn’t already know this, then you don’t hang around with …

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Five Movie-Themed Rides To Replace ‘Jaws’ At Universal Studios

posted 01/06/2012
by Jim Tews

Universal Studios recently shut down one of its flagship attractions which was a boring boat ride based on the move “Jaws.” The ride was pretty iconic, pretty memorable, but it definitely paled in comparison to exciting thrill rides wit…

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What You Could Buy With The $206-Million Mega Millions Jackpot, If You’d Actually Won It

posted 12/28/2011
by Jim Tews

We’re not here to rub it in your face, but you didn’t win the Mega Millions. We know that because only one guy won it, he’s in New York, rich people don’t read Holy Taco, and you’re not rich (we know that because we…

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Improving Your Life Story With Facebook’s New Timeline

posted 12/15/2011
by Jim Tews

Improving Your Life Story With Facebook’s New Timeline

image via mashable.com Hey loser, wanna look better online? Sure, we all do. Thanks to Facebook’s new “Timeline” mode, you totally can! A lot of people are bitching and whining about it because it lacks “privacy” or som…

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You Questioning Conway Twitty’s Heterosexuality? I’ll Fight You!

posted 12/09/2011
by Jim Tews

More awesome happenings in the sunshine state — two dudes got into a serious bar brawl over the sexual orientation of the late country singer, Conway Twitty. According to the news story the two men got into a scuffle that had the double-wide …

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The Inner Monologue Of The Kentucky Man Who Left His Baby At The Grocery Store

posted 12/01/2011
by Jim Tews

Oh Jesus. Ok. I need to double check this stupid list before I check-out… Eggs. Right there. Milk. There. Two bags of frozen mixed vegetables, one large bag of rice, the steaks. Ok, check, check and check. Everything looks to be here. Got the…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Holy Taco Draws the News: GOP Debates

Taco Bell To Serve Breakfast-Like Food Stuffs

Five Wannabe Super Heroes Who Got Arrested

Get Your Tickets To The Disease And Sin Festival Known As Coachella!

Five Retro Hostess Commercials, In Honor Of Hostess Bakery Declaring Bankruptcy

7 Weird Celebrity Baby Names And Their Origins

Five Movie-Themed Rides To Replace ‘Jaws’ At Universal Studios

What You Could Buy With The $206-Million Mega Millions Jackpot, If You’d Actually Won It

Improving Your Life Story With Facebook’s New Timeline

You Questioning Conway Twitty’s Heterosexuality? I’ll Fight You!

The Inner Monologue Of The Kentucky Man Who Left His Baby At The Grocery Store

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