News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

Read Full Article

Nobody Wants Tori Spelling. Nobody.

posted 08/10/2008
by

I remember once in college, a bunch of my friends came over and we got super high and started talking about which 90210 character we’d be. It was an insanely stupid conversation but the reason I remember it was because my roommate looked at …

Read Full Article

MILF War!

posted
by

Since we kick each week off with MILF Monday here at HolyTaco, this newspaper headline about an apparent MILF war going on in the Philippines just seemed to make sense. I’m not sure what they’re fighting about, but if they need me to en…

Read Full Article

Is It Wood?

posted 08/09/2008
by

Read Full Article

John Edwards Loses Debate With Sen. Vagina

posted 08/07/2008
by

When you get caught cheating a little guy in your brain runs over to a switch that is set on “normal” and flips it up to it’s other setting, “Total bullshit.” So, I especially love when politicians get caught cheating…

Read Full Article

Clay Aiken Has Baby Boy Or Something

posted
by

In college I lived with three dudes and one girl. The girl had her own bathroom, and the four of us guys shared the other bathroom. One day her shower broke and she was like “You guys mind if I take a bath in your shower tub?” We all…

Read Full Article

Nigerian Man Gives World’s Most Obvious Advice

posted
by

Look in this man’s eyes. Can you see how tired and beaten down he is? The deep lines on his cheeks tell the story of a man who’s wishing for death to come and take him away from his exhausting existence. But his wizened face also has a…

Read Full Article

The Mother Of All Ebay Excuses

posted
by

The moment I saw this excuse for not paying off an ebay purchase, I laughed so hard I almost killed my son. Not because I think the death of a child is funny, but because this person is clearly lying. And it takes an extra special kind of person to…

Read Full Article

Steve Wynn, Unlike You, Hates Prostitutes

posted 08/06/2008
by

For those of you who don’t know who Steve Wynn is, he’s the guy who has all the money you lost in Las Vegas. He used to own several casinos, but now just owns The Wynn Hotel and Casino. The Wynn is a place that tries to make you think…

Read Full Article

Drink This: Glenlivet 25 Year Old

posted
by

Let’s face it, drinking is pretty awesome. And drinking scotch is really awesome, so it’s time to put down your pomegranate wine spritzer and graduate to the big boy liquors. Glenlivet just released the The Glenlivet XXV, which, clockin…

Read Full Article

Why Don’t They Just Say “Fat”?

posted 08/05/2008
by

You know your life already sucks when you’re on the run from the Feds. But you know it probably doesn’t get any worse when you click on CNN.com from your hideout and see that you’re also being referred to as “jowly.”

Read Full Article

Elf Ears: Just What Your Head is Missing

posted
by

Body modification is pretty awesome. Well, not really, but I’m going to pretend it is for this post. Using this form of…uhh, expression(?), people have turned themselves into cats, cyborgs and just plain ugly people. But now, with a lit…

Read Full Article

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Nobody Wants Tori Spelling. Nobody.

MILF War!

Is It Wood?

John Edwards Loses Debate With Sen. Vagina

Clay Aiken Has Baby Boy Or Something

Nigerian Man Gives World’s Most Obvious Advice

The Mother Of All Ebay Excuses

Steve Wynn, Unlike You, Hates Prostitutes

Drink This: Glenlivet 25 Year Old

Why Don’t They Just Say “Fat”?

Elf Ears: Just What Your Head is Missing

Photo of the Day

Best of Taco