News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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20 Years Of Madden Covers

posted 08/05/2008
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As you probably know, the newest installment of the Madden video game series comes out next week. And since it’s been around for 20 years, here’s all 20 of the covers, starting when that handsome devil himself was the one who graced the …

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Sexual Harassment Is Totally Cool In Russia

posted 08/04/2008
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The people of Russia have done and said a lot of great stuff over time (“In Russia, toilet paper uses you!”, communism), but I think we have a new winner. According to telegraph.co.uk: A Russian advertising executive who sued her boss f…

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Morgan Freeman In Deep Impact, But Okay

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As many of you know, Morgan Freeman was in a really bad accident where they had to use the Jaws Of Life to get him out. Above is his car, a 1997 Nissan Maxima. Either he was too close to a T-Rex cage when the power went out during a storm, or he …

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Thank God For These Hat Instructions

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Getting a hat in the mail is always pretty tricky. What do you do with it? Do you use it as a foot rest? Do you sit on it? I mean, it’s a hat, there’s so many things you can do with it, that it’s really hard to tell what you’…

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Oprah Makes 385 Million A Year

posted 08/03/2008
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Some things are too massive for me to comprehend, like space or Prince Fielder. So when I heard this, I couldn’t really wrap my head around it: Usmagazine reports Oprah Winfrey earns a whopping $385 million a year. If Oprah deserves that muc…

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Man Calls 911 After Subway Forgot His Sauce

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911 is probably the most important phone number in our society. It’s a dependable lifeline you can reach out to when you are seriously injured, being attacked…or if that lazy Subway sandwich artist leaves the important sauces off your s…

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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Have Baby, Will Show

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I love when people are like “Oh my God, you HAVE to see this picture of my baby,” and then they show me the picture and it’s just their baby, lying there. This is not okay. If a friend came up to you and was like “Oh my G…

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Church Signs That Won’t Make You Go To Church

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Driving across the rural parts of America you’ll undoubtedly notice the large number of churches that use their signs to try and draw people into their church with a joke or a pun or some good old fashioned fire and brimstone fear. The proble…

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Why?

posted 08/02/2008
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Snoop Dogg Caught With Weed? Whaaa?

posted 07/31/2008
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Here’s how you know cops are really, really, really, bored: Snoop Dogg’s tour bus was stopped by police yesterday afternoon, and two of the singer’s entourage were arrested for marijuana possession. In an unrelated story, a new st…

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Verne Troyer Sues Poor Person For $20 Million

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Ahh, suing people. The good ol’ American pastime. It’s nice to know that in this great nation of ours, taking someone to court isn’t just something the biggest and richest people can do. Little tiny people can do it, too. Accordin…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

20 Years Of Madden Covers

Sexual Harassment Is Totally Cool In Russia

Morgan Freeman In Deep Impact, But Okay

Thank God For These Hat Instructions

Oprah Makes 385 Million A Year

Man Calls 911 After Subway Forgot His Sauce

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Have Baby, Will Show

Church Signs That Won’t Make You Go To Church

Why?

Snoop Dogg Caught With Weed? Whaaa?

Verne Troyer Sues Poor Person For $20 Million

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