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Bad Headlines with Worse Stories

part2

Yesterday I read a headline that made me laugh and, without reading the story, I just made up what I assumed happened. I was way off, as it happens, but the real story was depressing and uninteresting.

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Asian Kids Are Named The Darndest Things

Asian Kids Are Named The Darndest Things

I always thought Batman would be a little…I don’t know…tougher looking? But I guess the fact that an 18-year-old Javanese kid is the one saving Gotham (and possibly Metropolis, although that spelling of his last name is a little s…

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Gary Busey Is A Very Good Salesman

Gary Busey Is A Very Good Salesman

Gary Busey Is A Great Salesman – Watch more free videos I don’t know what Gotvmail is, but Gary Busey’s bear-related sales pitch really makes me want to buy it or download it or whatever it is I have to do to get it. Let’s…

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McCain Related Videos Are Better Than McCain

McCain Related Videos Are Better Than McCain

I thought John McCain was a crotchety old war veteran who was going to be our next president. But according to the “related videos” section of a Youtube video showing how McCain is the same as George Bush, he’s also a hot lesbian …

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Heather Mills Won’t Pay an Arm & Her Only Leg

Heather Mills Won’t Pay an Arm & Her Only Leg

I’m not the kind of guy who makes fun of someone with a physical handicap or severe retardation. I even felt bad about the time when I was waiting tables and asked a quadruple amputee if I could give him a hand with anything, all the while la…

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If Tom Cruise Had A Comic Book

If Tom Cruise Had A Comic Book

Last week we introduced our first “If They Had a Comic Book…” with Heidi and Spencer from the hills. This week we’re taking on Scientology. Enjoy. Other Stuff To Look At: If the USA had a Facebook page during the Civil War…

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If She Breaks Up With You, Write Her A Letter

If She Breaks Up With You, Write Her A Letter

There are only a few ways you can get a girl back who’s just broken up with you. First, you can send her flowers. But since that’s a little cliche, it will probably take a little more effort than that. Second, you could do something big…

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Andy Dick Loves Peeing & Groping

Andy Dick Loves Peeing & Groping

Some things I just can’t wait for, like masturbating and…well, pretty much just masturbating. Another highly anticipated moment for me is the next Andy Dick news item. Christmas has just come in July because Andy Penis got arrested earl…

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Pedophile Wears “World’s Greatest Dad” Shirt

Pedophile Wears “World’s Greatest Dad” Shirt

Sometimes you can’t judge a book by its cover. And you probably shouldn’t judge a child molester by his T-shirt, either. That’s what judges in Michigan are for. According to the Washington Post: NOVI, Mich. — A 33-year-old M…

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Yogi Issues Payback to Sarah Jessica Horseface

Yogi Issues Payback to Sarah Jessica Horseface

Yogi Berra and Sarah Jessica Parker – Watch more free videos During last night’s All-Star Game, Joe Buck was interviewing Yogi Berra in the booth and Yogi started complaining about all the photo ops he had to do. Buck asked him about Sar…

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Hannah Montana to Kiss a Chick?

Hannah Montana to Kiss a Chick?

Hey, you know that song “I Kissed a Girl” that your chick plays constantly and you hate, but you pretend to like it because you hope she’s into it? The singer’s name is Katy Perry and she just got asked which chick she wants…

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Losers Go Blind At Crappy Russian Rave

Losers Go Blind At Crappy Russian Rave

Normally I feel bad when I hear that someone has been struck by a terrible affliction like blindness or leukemia or cottage cheese thighs. But not this time. According to Reuters: MOSCOW – Dozens of partygoers at an outdoor rave near Moscow l…

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