News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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Finally, The Porn Menu Has a Vegan Option

posted 09/19/2011
by Jim Tews

Everyone’s favorite group of animal-loving psychos is gearing up to perform their newest trick to get you to stop eating so many puppies. This time, they’re going full monty and taking advantage of the new “.xxx” domain name…

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Five Reactions To Lady GaGa’s Crotch Shot, In Convenient GIF Form

posted 09/14/2011
by Jim Tews

Five Reactions To Lady GaGa’s Crotch Shot, In Convenient GIF Form

We absolutely refuse to apologize for how disgusting this news post is. We will however do you the favor of not posting any of the actual gifs until after the jump. So click on the header and lose your lunch.

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Potential New Earth Discovered — Endless Opportunities To Ruin Another Planet

posted 09/12/2011
by Jim Tews

Over fifty new planets have now been discovered by an exoplanet hunting telescope, according to an article from National Geographic, and one of them may be totally inhabitable. And by inhabitable, I mean ripe for human destruction! The planet scien…

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Who Will Be The Fattest?!?!

posted 09/06/2011
by Jim Tews

The fight for the title “World’s Fattest Woman” is becoming an intense battle between two women who will eat whatever it takes! We can’t get enough of it here at Holy Taco, but if it’s not your thing, feel free to leav…

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What To Do When The Power Goes Out

posted 08/30/2011
by Jim Tews

Without electricity, your precious Xbox will not turn on, your iPod will eventually run out of power, and Netflix streaming won’t be an option. Those of you who may have lost power thanks to Hurricane Irene know the importance of having the p…

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10 Reasons To Be Satisfied With America

posted 08/18/2011
by Jim Tews

A recent gallup poll has revealed that only 11% of Americans are satisfied with the country’s condition. It’s pretty understandable considering what we’re used to. We’ve made some serious downgrades in the last few years, bu…

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James Franco Wants To Put Thoughts In A Museum With Your Money

posted 08/03/2011
by Jim Tews

Proving, once again, that good-looking rich people can get away with anything, James Franco has started a conceptual art project called “MONA”. The acronym stands for Museum of Non-Visible Art with some less attractive friends of his. N…

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Prussian Blue Is All Grown Up! Still Awful.

posted 07/19/2011
by Jim Tews

Well, it finally happened, and the result is exactly as I predicted. The adorably hateful, naive little girls known as the musical duo Prussian Blue is all grown up. Lamb and Lynx claim they no longer hate anyone who doesn’t look like them. A…

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Holy Taco’s Suggestions For Solving For The U.S. Debt Crisis

posted 07/14/2011
by Jim Tews

Well, the U.S. economic crisis has hit another pile of road apples. This time, they’re arguing over whether or not to raise the debt ceiling. If we did raise it, it’d be like raising your credit card limit — it gives you some brea…

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Ten Little Known Facts About Sonic The Hedgehog

posted 06/23/2011
by Jim Tews

Sonic the Hedgehog turns twenty today! If you’re a Holy Taco writer, you feel old right now. Until Sonic showed up, the video game character world was dominated by two goofy Italian plumbers. Two guys who were incredibly and foolishly focused…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Finally, The Porn Menu Has a Vegan Option

Five Reactions To Lady GaGa’s Crotch Shot, In Convenient GIF Form

Potential New Earth Discovered — Endless Opportunities To Ruin Another Planet

Who Will Be The Fattest?!?!

What To Do When The Power Goes Out

10 Reasons To Be Satisfied With America

James Franco Wants To Put Thoughts In A Museum With Your Money

Prussian Blue Is All Grown Up! Still Awful.

Holy Taco’s Suggestions For Solving For The U.S. Debt Crisis

Ten Little Known Facts About Sonic The Hedgehog

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