News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

Read Full Article

You Can Do Pretty Much Anything In Alabama

posted 06/24/2008
by

Some people in this world are winners. They don’t settle for second best. If they see someone grabbing one brass ring, then they grab two. If they see someone having sex with one teenage boy on a baseball team, well, then they have sex with&#…

Read Full Article

Kathy Griffin Denies Sleeping With Somebody?

posted 06/23/2008
by

It’s one thing to get rejected by somebody that’s really attractive. Or somebody that’s even mildly attractive. But it’s quite another thing to rejected by someone that looks like something that stops you before you cross …

Read Full Article

Tila Tequila Update: We Made Someone Mad

posted
by

Well, apparently our post on how Tila Tequila got famous made the former editor-in-chief of Stuff Magazine a teensy bit defensive. Jimmy Jellinek, the editor that put her on the cover, sent a lovely e-mail to Holy Taco this morning about the post. …

Read Full Article

Dwarf Pimp Lady Gives Tall Pimp Guys A Bad Name

posted 06/22/2008
by

Sometimes, a news story just feels like home. According to wcbstv.com: NEW YORK (CBS) ? A dwarf charged with prostituting an underage runaway will appear in Kings County Supreme Court on Monday. Jacqueline Green, a.k.a. ‘Shorty,’ due to…

Read Full Article

Brooke Hogan Will Play Your Party

posted 06/19/2008
by

Have you ever been to a party and thought, “This party would be so much better if Brooke Hogan was here?” If you answered yes, you’re Brooke Hogan. If you answered no, you’re every other human being on the f*&king plan…

Read Full Article

Hooters Girls Know What A Toyota Looks Like

posted
by

You probably think those Hooters waitresses who feed you deep fried wings and sour beer are just stupid bimbos in orange shorts, but they are a lot smarter than you think. For example, they can tell the difference between a Toyota and a toy yoda. P…

Read Full Article

Steve Guttenberg Takes Great Fake Photos

posted
by

There have been a lot of photos circulating recently that show an enraged Steve Guttenberg (star of such hits as Short Circuit and Police Academy 1-4) freaking out on a paparazzi photographer after a morning jog. And I’m going on the record a…

Read Full Article

Senator Larry Craig Still Wants To Drill You

posted 06/18/2008
by

Some things never change. The sun will always come up in the morning, the rich will always get richer and Larry Craig will always put a sexual innuendo into one of his press releases. I mean, come on, man. You’ve been busted for gay sex count…

Read Full Article

Jamie Lynn Spears Births Human Child

posted
by

I remember in sex-ed in high school they had some social worker come to our class to talk about teenage pregnancy and he was like super intense and all he kept saying was “babies…having babies,” and then he’d really solemnly…

Read Full Article

Chinese Restaurant Lets You Know If You’re A Prostitute

posted 06/17/2008
by

There are a lot of times when I just want to get something to eat, but before I order a hamburger I often ask myself, “Am I a prostitute?” Well, thankfully this Chinese restaurant has provided a helpful security staff to answer my quest…

Read Full Article

Gisele: Tom Brady Doesn’t Have Bad Bone

posted 06/16/2008
by

You ever meet those couples where shit is too perfect? Like, shit is so perfect that it causes an argument between you and your girlfriend or boyfriend, where you insist that there’s something going on behind the scenes and your significant …

Read Full Article

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

You Can Do Pretty Much Anything In Alabama

Kathy Griffin Denies Sleeping With Somebody?

Tila Tequila Update: We Made Someone Mad

Dwarf Pimp Lady Gives Tall Pimp Guys A Bad Name

Brooke Hogan Will Play Your Party

Hooters Girls Know What A Toyota Looks Like

Steve Guttenberg Takes Great Fake Photos

Senator Larry Craig Still Wants To Drill You

Jamie Lynn Spears Births Human Child

Chinese Restaurant Lets You Know If You’re A Prostitute

Gisele: Tom Brady Doesn’t Have Bad Bone

Photo of the Day

Best of Taco