News – Holytaco

The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Well it’s a brand new year and that means brand new stuff is going to happen, right? Wrong. Nothing new has happened since 1990 with the release of U Can’t Touch This which ushered in an era of white kids trying to rap.

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Weiner Is Getting Straight

posted 06/15/2011
by Jim Tews

First off, let me apoligize for that headline so that we can move on — I’m sorry. Moving on. Anthony Weiner, the Ansel Adams of awkward twitter pics, is taking a leave of absence from congress to become a “better and healthier per…

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Wait, What Happened? Human Centipede II Edition

posted 06/13/2011
by Jim Tews

It’s that time again. Time for us to update you on the happenings of the world. Because you don’t have the time or energy to do it yourself.

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Male Birth Control Methods And Why Men Can’t Be Counted On To Make Them Work

posted 06/08/2011
by Jim Tews

So the Holy Grail unicorn Sasquatch that is men’s birth control has been spotted again. It’s not a pill or a device that can fall off or get lost, it’s actually an injection that kills the sperm while it’s en route from the …

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Holy Taco’s Take On The U.S. Government’s New Dietary Guide

posted 06/03/2011
by Jim Tews

For those of you who weren’t aware, the government has done away with the beloved food pyramid, and replaced it with a more simple visual guide for balancing your diet. It’s all for the sake of lowering obesity rates and making room for…

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Wait, What Happened? – Post Rapture Edition

posted 05/23/2011
by Jim Tews

Great news! We all survived the rapture! I know you were probably too worried about dying to keep up with current events, so I’ve compiled this list of things you should know about. Here is this week’s "Wait, What Happened?"&#…

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Wait, What Happened? – May 16th, 2011

posted 05/16/2011
by Jim Tews

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Wait, What Happened? – May 9th, 2011

posted 05/09/2011
by Jim Tews

Alright everyone. You were probably so busy worrying about what to do for your mom for Mother’s day, that you didn’t pay attention to the world around you. Your water cooler anecdotes are going to sound really lame if you’re compl…

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Let’s Put An End To Patriotic Misquotes!

posted 05/04/2011
by Jim Tews

Osama Bin Laden died and most people didn’t know how they should publicly react until they checked their Facebook feed. Only problem with that is, most of us have a Facebook friend pool that is half full of stupid people we went to high schoo…

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Wait, What Happened?: May 1st, 2011

posted 05/02/2011
by Jim Tews

It’s that time again. If you spent the last week lost in the couch cushions, playing some new video game and trying to forget about your ex, Holy Taco is here to update you on all the most important events. Read this and you’ll have som…

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Holy Taco Heroes

posted 04/28/2011
by Jim Tews

It’s that time again, where we like to honor those people in the world going to great lengths to do awesome things with no worthwhile outcome! This time around we’ve got a fine mix of creepers and sociopaths who will no longer go unnoti…

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You’re Allowed To Look At Porn In New York City Libraries. Because This Is America.

posted 04/26/2011
by Jim Tews

Washington Crossing The Delaware For Porn

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your horny masses yearning to fap for free…” Isn’t that what’s transcribed on the Statue of Liberty? There is nothing more American than getting a boner in the library. It’s what o…

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The Stories You’ll Hate in 2013

Weiner Is Getting Straight

Wait, What Happened? Human Centipede II Edition

Male Birth Control Methods And Why Men Can’t Be Counted On To Make Them Work

Holy Taco’s Take On The U.S. Government’s New Dietary Guide

Wait, What Happened? – Post Rapture Edition

Wait, What Happened? – May 16th, 2011

Wait, What Happened? – May 9th, 2011

Let’s Put An End To Patriotic Misquotes!

Wait, What Happened?: May 1st, 2011

Holy Taco Heroes

You’re Allowed To Look At Porn In New York City Libraries. Because This Is America.

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