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Aaron Hernandez May Have Murder Clues in His Tattoos

aaron-hernandez-tattoos

This settles it: Aaron Hernandez is dumber than a bag of avocados.

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Sexual Harassment Hotties: Ines Sainz vs. Paula Jones

Sexual Harassment Hotties: Ines Sainz vs. Paula Jones

Sexual harassment is no laughing matter, unless that delightful Benny Hill is involved. That’s why I was so upset to hear about the recent accusations of sexual harassment involving players from the New York Jets and Mexican sports reporter I…

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Holy Taco’s 2010 NFL All-Criminal Team

Holy Taco’s 2010 NFL All-Criminal Team

Criminals are to the NFL as crabs are to prostitutes. It would be impossible to have one without the other. As it is, they are both unfortunate but unavoidable byproducts of two favorite all-American pastimes: football and transactional fornication…

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Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints – Who Has the Hotter Cheerleaders?

Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints – Who Has the Hotter Cheerleaders?

  Finally, the preseason nonsense is over. The NFL is back. Things kickoff tonight with a highly anticipated rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game in which Brett Favre cemented his legacy of being that guy who throws interceptions…

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The Upside of a Football Gambling Addiction

The Upside of a Football Gambling Addiction

Football season is about to begin, which means football gamblers like myself are beside themselves with anticipation. In fact, the next five months will be some of the happiest of my life. Of course by happy, I mean miserable, but at this point, fe…

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Drunken Argument Friday: Football vs Football

Drunken Argument Friday: Football vs Football

When we took up the mantle here at Holy Taco we were told we had to engage in some social drinking in the office if we wanted to get anything done right. This was not a problem as most of us had been drinking mouthwash recreationally for years. T…

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25 Jared Allen Mullet Pics

25 Jared Allen Mullet Pics

Jared Allen cut off his mullet, so we wanted to provide a tribute to a fallen solider. You may have died on the floor of a barber shop today, but you will live forever in our ironic haircut hearts.  

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Quarterbacks Getting Tackled by Invisible Players

Quarterbacks Getting Tackled by Invisible Players

 Football season is over now, and we’re pretty broken up about it.  In thinking about our favorite games, plays, and moments of the last NFL season, we can’t help thinking that the game of football could benefit from a few smal…

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Flowchart to Determine What You Should Do On Super Bowl Sunday

Flowchart-Determine-What-You-Should-Do-Super-Bowl-Sunday

There are many factors to consider when you’re planning out your Super Bowl Sunday: what team are you rooting for? How much beer can you afford? Can you take out a loan for more beer?  Luckily, flowcharts are a perfect tool for making com…

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7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments

7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments

Football sidelines are full of interesting moments.  Many of these moments are caught on television, but a lot of them are never seen by the viewing audience at home.  Luckily, we’ve managed to get our hands on some of the best unsee…

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10 Awesome Football Announcer Screw Ups

10 Awesome Football Announcer Screw Ups

Announcing a football game is hard work.  You have to watch the game and talk about what’s going on, and you don’t even get to pound beer and Doritos while you’re doing it.  It’s just too damn stressful up in the bo…

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The Best NFL Rap Videos of All Time

The Best NFL Rap Videos of All Time

Football season is nearly upon us again, and that means it’s a good time to take a look back at where football really came from: shitty ’80s rap videos!  You see, a long time ago, a bunch of athletic men got together to make terrib…

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