Sarah Jessica Parker Has World’s Oldest Hands

Whoa. Sarah Jessica Parker has, quite possibly, the most disgusting hands I have ever seen in my life. Does she keep them in an oven when she’s not using them? Does she boil them once a day? How does a 43-year-old woman get the hands of a 4,300 year-old woman? Did Ferris Buehler grow up to get HJs from these? What the hell is wrong with the world? Should I ask more questions?

This is one of the biggest problems men have with this show. It portrays the image that if you dress anyone up in a collection of colorful, crappy and uber-fashionny clothes that it will hide all their physical flaws and turn them into some radiant princess. Well, I did a little research, and it seems that they not only dress up Mrs. Parker in the world’s fanciest clothes. But they also do a very large make-up job on her hands, too. Here’s what her hands look like without any make-up:

photos via seriouslyomg.com

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