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Old Cell Phones Aren’t Better Than Smartphones, No Matter What Nostalgics Insist

nokia-brick

Androids, iPhones, and Samsungs are mainstream, and this the backlash has begun: they’re too big, they don’t hit in your pocket, they’re fragile, those apps suck away your money, etc. People are actually braying about how much bett…

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15 Names That Only Work for Old Men

grumpy-old-men

I met a dude named Mortimer recently and I have no idea what he does or what he said to me because I got lost in his name. Mortimer. Morty. How is it someone who isn’t retired has that name in 2013? His parents must have hated him the moment the…

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Five Things We’ll Miss About Real Encyclopedias

britannica

You’ve probably found out by now the news that Encyclopedia Britannica is ceasing production of its hard copy books, and you probably found that on the internet, while reading the news that used to come in paper form. If you were fortunate en…

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25 Older Body Builders Who Could Probably Beat Us Senseless

flex

Just because you need a Rascal scooter to get around doesn’t mean you have to stop bench pressing small, German automobiles. Probably.

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A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

Why, hello, there, 62-Year-Old Grandmother That Had 200 Sexual Flings In The past 2 Years. How are you on this fine day? Sore, I assume – sore from all of the sweet, sweet sexual satisfaction you’ve been given by the 30 and 40 years old…

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The Inner Monologue of a Perv in His 40′s at the Club

The Inner Monologue of a Perv in His 40′s at the Club

Yeah. Yeah, this is hot. And I’m hot. And that girl over there in the tight – wait. I think that’s Dunbar’s daughter. Huh. He’s in accounting now, so it’s not like I see him that often. Damn. She grew up,…

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Inner Monologue of My Dad Trying To Use Twitter

Inner Monologue of My Dad Trying To Use Twitter

Yeah, that’s right, I’m a modern guy. I got a new portable phone that can get the world wide internet on. I can check my compuserve email whenever I want. I can download my favorite youtubes. And best of all, I can keep in touch with my …

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May Your New Year Be As Exciting as an Exploding Firework Factory

May Your New Year Be As Exciting as an Exploding Firework Factory

  Are you tired of having so much fun every New Year’s Eve? Then you should try watching an old video of a fireworks factory exploding.  After this, nothing will seem very exciting, unless it’s another, larger fireworks factor…

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OMFG! My hat is pooping on me!

OMFG-My-hat-pooping-me

A Dog Milking A Goat

A Dog Milking A Goat

  We scan through thousands of videos a day here at Holy Taco, and sometimes… well, sometimes the best thing on any particular day is just simple video of a dog walking upright, milking a talking goat.   Kid Gets Tasered Again (Tota…

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I Wish Invasion Earth Guy Would Come to Thanksgiving

I Wish Invasion Earth Guy Would Come to Thanksgiving

  To me, this guy is the perfect grandpa, but a terrible father.  It would be great to have the option of talking to him for a while at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but if you had to be around him all the time, it would take forever to get …

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