open letter – Holytaco

An Open Letter to the Non Toilet Trained

Hey there, dribble guts, how goes it? That’s rhetorical, I’m well aware of your problems, at least a few of them. And that’s kind of why we need to talk.

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An Open Letter to National Geographic Channel

posted 08/08/2012
by Ian Fortey

How’s taking pictures of indigenous boobies? I imagine it’s both satisfying and kind of sad at the same time. Keep it up. Listen, the reason I wanted to talk to you is this new American Gypsy show you guys have on TV. I need you to listen to me…

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An Open Letter To The World’s 7 Billionth Person

posted 10/17/2011
by Jim Tews

Hey there, seven-billionth person born on earth. I don’t know how old you’ll be when you end up reading this, but let’s assume you’ll be old enough to know how to read. That’d put you at about age seven, if you’r…

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An Open Letter To Sinead O’Connor On Why She Should Have Sex With Holy Taco

posted 08/31/2011
by Luis Prada

Dear Sinead, We read your recent blog post titled “IS SINEAD ABOUT TO HUMP HER TRUCK?” We’re sorry we didn’t read it sooner, but our RSS reader was backed up with blog posts by the lead singer of The Spin Doctors and the girl from The Cranber…

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A Letter To My High School Guidance Counselor

posted 05/18/2011
by Jim Tews

Dear Mrs. Sewards, I hope this letter finds you well, It’s been over ten years since we last spoke. I’m writing you because I assume you find some satisfaction in hearing about the success of your former students. To say that I’m …

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An Open Letter To Natalie Portman On Why She Should Have Been Impregnated By The Holy Taco Staff

posted 12/27/2010
by Luis Prada

Dear Natalie Portman, It saddens us to hear that you have not only become recently engaged to a man by the name of Benjamin Millepied, a man that sounds like a character in Lewis Carroll novel, but that he has also loaded you up with a baby that’s…

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An Open Letter to the Non Toilet Trained

An Open Letter to National Geographic Channel

An Open Letter To The World’s 7 Billionth Person

An Open Letter To Sinead O’Connor On Why She Should Have Sex With Holy Taco

A Letter To My High School Guidance Counselor

An Open Letter To Natalie Portman On Why She Should Have Been Impregnated By The Holy Taco Staff

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