People are all over this “Lindsay Lohan might be a lesbian” thing. Would that really be that surprising? On a scale of things that are surprising, I would put that right below “The end of the M. Night Shyamalan movie the Village where it turns out it’s present day.” Meaning, not surprising at all, and more just who gives a shit.
Here’s Lindsay at Disneyland with Samantha Ronson. Maybe they got it on earlier on the log ride, maybe they didn’t. Either way, this photo is not proof she’s a lesbian, thus, it’s not news. Now, this photo, this photo would be news:
Editor’s note: I honestly don’t know what I’d do without that photo of Osama. I’m pretty sure I’ve inserted in to at least 25 family photos and sent it to my older relatives who don’t even know photoshop exists, just to confuse them. I need to get a life.
Time released it’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people, and the highest ranking couple on the list, coming in at #21, was Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Here’s what George Clooney says about them:
“they have tended to the poor and sick in Africa” and how they shelled out $1 million for the victims in Darfur, among other humanitarian efforts.
I wonder if after this came out, Brad Pitt turned to Angelina and was like “there, we did it. We’re on the f*&king list, can we stop this now? I just want to bang the crap out of you without having to go feed some kid with flies all over him.”
Adds Clooney, “The couple cares for three adopted children from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam, in addition to their biological daughter.
I’m gonna have to agree with their ranking on the influential list because before them, nobody was adopting kids from weird places. Now, if you don’t have to get 9 different vaccinations before you go check out your adoptee, you’re way uncool. The more ethnically diverse the orphan, the better. Somewhere in an orphanage in Toledo, Ohio, a bunch of kids are crowded around one beat up copy of Time Magazine with Brangelina in it and going “you motherf*&kers.”
Anyway, I sort of figure these two are going to be the most influential couple for at least a couple years, unless a brand new couple comes on the scene. But it’d have to be two pretty big stars. Maybe something like this:
Wow. This takes balls. My favorite part is that he thinks that as a security guard, if he dresses like Osama Bin Laden, instead of people being like “Holy Shit, that’s Osama Bin Laden!,” people will be like “Whoa, that’s Osama Bin Laden. We better not shoplift.”
Remember when you’d go to the dentist’s office when you were a kid and there’d be a copy of Highlights Magazine on the waiting room table? And you were so bored that you thumbed through the whole thing? Well, that ...
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