Lauren Conrad Goes To White House

Normally, you have to have done something noteworthy to get an invitation to the White House, like be a war hero, or a nobel prize winner, or even a retarded kid who hit a bunch of three pointers in a high school game. The point is, you used to have had to do something. Now that’s changed. Usmagazine.com reports:

The Hills‘ Lauren Conrad is among the celebs on the list to attend the White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner on April 26.

Perez Hilton, another attendee, will be a guest of the Bloomberg financial network.

Oooh! The show pig is going! I can’t wait until I see an article in Usmagazine.com shortly after that says “Perez says Cheney gave him HJ.” Seriously, who makes the guest list for this f*&king thing? I imagine this was the thought process:

WHITE HOUSE GUY #1: Let’s see, we have two spots left for the correspondents dinner.

WHITE HOUSE GUY #2: Why don’t we invite that soldier who had his nuts blown off while saving eight of his men, and his wife who struggles every day to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives?

WHITE HOUSE GUY #1: Mmmm, sounds like a bummer. Oooh! I know! What about Perez Hilton and Lauren Conrad?

WHITE HOUSE GUY #2: Perfect! See, that’s why you’re you.

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John Mayer Bi-Sexual?

On the left is HILARIOUS comedian and sometimes musician John Mayer. On the right is either a show pig from the county fair that looks like a human, or a human from the county fair that looks like a show pig. Either way a) it deserves a prize and b) its name is Perez Hilton and it claims that it made out with John Mayer, which technically means John Mayer likes dudes. At least that’s according to the show pig. Usmagazine.com reports:

Celeb blogger Perez Hilton hit the airwaves Thursday morning to detail an alleged recent make-out he had with the singer.

“He is definitely bi,” Hilton declared on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show, adding that Mayer is “struggling with his sexuality.”

Of their liplock at NYC club Stereo last year, Hilton said, “He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth with tongue.

I wonder if when Perez Hilton told Ryan Seacrest that Mayer was bi, a loud “THUMP” was heard in Seacrest’s studio due to his sudden erection hitting the underside of the table he was sitting at.

As much as it might make sense that Mayer is bi, Perez’s story definitely does not make sense. If you’re John Mayer, you can pretty much have the pick of whatever gay dudes you want, that also don’t run celebrity gossip sites. It makes no sense he’d pick Perez Hilton. It’d be like me going to a fancy buffet in Las Vegas and asking the waiter, “What’s the least expensive thing I can eat here that will also give me diarrhea?”

Mayer’s rep tells Usmagazine.com, “This is all so ridiculous.” Simpson’s rep had no comment.

He may not have made out with Perez Hilton, but I saw a release of his new album cover, and I think he’s trying to tell us something.

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