Age: 28
Where you’ve seen her: Aside from seeing her cleavage in Cannes, the rest of Petra Nemcova has been in Sports Illustrated, Victoria’s Secret and…um, I think she was on Larry King once.
Pointless quote: “I love to dance. I can dance for, like, four or five hours nonstop without even drinking water. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.”
via egotastic.com
Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the 1st Holy Tacoscars. We don’t have a host, but if we did, it’d be these guys:
Now, on to the awards:
BEST PICTURE….TO LOOK AT WHEN I WANT TO HOLD OFF AN ORGASM:
Elton John, Harrison Ford, Calista Flockhart
I’m not sure if this is a photo, or a drawing the three of them got at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Is that Calista Flockhart or that weird thing that rides the tricycle in the Saw movies?
BEST VAGINA IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Sarah Larson
I have no idea who this girl is and I don’t care. I’m not even going to look it up. What I do know is, Clooney may have lost Best Actor to Daniel Day Lewis, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t give a shit because he was holding his own awards later. Sources tell me the award for Best Penis Inside Sarah Larson went to Clooney and he gave an 8 hour acceptance speech which consisted of banging the crap out of her and ocassionally thanking his mom and Harvey Weinstein.
Age: 28
Where you’ve seen her: Aside from most of your dreams, Petra Nemcova’s been seen in The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Victoria’s Secret.
Tantalizing trivia: Her photographer and fiance Simon Atlee was killed in the 2004 Thailand Tsunami. OK, that was kind of a downer. But these photos may help brighten the spirits.
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