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How to Start a Third Political Party

thirdparty

So, you’ve decided to ruin the political system in America, good for you. Running for office is never an easy task, and trying to not be either a Democrat or a Republican is basically suicide. And hey, for you Canadians, try running on a Green Par…

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English Politician Doesn’t Know Why People Freak Out When He Tells Them About His 9-Foot Tall Alien Mother

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We’ve come to expect that, as humans, most politicians are closet weirdos. We can’t vet all candidates so thoroughly that we catch their full-on weirdness, so it leaks out little bit little over a period of time, mostly after they’ve already been el…

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How to Run for Political Office (90% of the time)

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So, you want to make a difference in society, good for you! Do you have ideals and passion and a desire to make your country a better place? Sorry, this article isn’t for you. We can’t relate to you at all as you’re about as rare as a unicorn.

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Herman Cain’s New Campaign Ad

Herman Cain’s New Campaign Ad

The folks here at Holy Taco like to offer our complete support to the most insane candidate possible. You see, the more messed up the country is, the more things we’ll have to write about. We don’t want all of America’s messes to …

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Holy Taco’s Suggestions For Solving For The U.S. Debt Crisis

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Well, the U.S. economic crisis has hit another pile of road apples. This time, they’re arguing over whether or not to raise the debt ceiling. If we did raise it, it’d be like raising your credit card limit — it gives you some brea…

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According To The Tampa Tribune, Republicans Are Cranky Old White Dudes

Tampa Tribune Mailer_Original

There’s a lot being made of political bias in today’s media. With politicians on both the left and right claiming that one particular news organization is far more slanted in one direction, it’s hard to know where to turn to if you want straight, u…

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This Politician Parties Harder Than Any Bro I Know, Bro

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Politicians, typically, are horrendous, somewhat charming, rich assholes who are filled with lies and farts and farts that smell like lies. If a politician who had a one-hundred percent honest policy, you’d probably vote for him. Especially i…

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Remember to Vote for Prop. 19

Remember to Vote for Prop. 19

By Joseph Walbarg, Line Cook As I rolled out of bed this afternoon and flipped on the tube, I couldn’t help but notice all the news about the election. Watching those smug Republican bastards celebrate was enough to make you puke. And while w…

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The Literal Translation of Last Night’s Victory and Concession Speeches

The Literal Translation of Last Night’s Victory and Concession Speeches

Victory Speech Hello, fellow plural for residents of the state! Tonight you voted, and you really showed the members of the political opposition that I have dehumanized through scare tactics that this state doesn’t want what they have to off…

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5 Douchebags You’ll Encounter While Voting

5 Douchebags You’ll Encounter While Voting

Are you a real American? It’s election day, bitches. I’m hesitant to even bring up the topic, since half of you are too lazy to vote, and the other half of you are convicted felons and, or filthy Canadians. But those of us who bothered …

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A Flowchart to Determine Which Party You Will Vote for In the Next Election

A Flowchart to Determine Which Party You Will Vote for In the Next Election

The midterm election is only a few weeks away, and many people claim they are still undecided on how they will vote. These people are filthy liars. Deep down, you all know what you’re going to do, so don’t waste our time. Just take a l…

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