Heidi And Spencer Cancel White House Trip

I don’t even think I can continue to call Spencer Pratt a douchebag.  It’s like he’s doing things in the field of douchebaggery that have never been done before.  It’s like when Einstein discovered the  theory of relativity or when Knute Rockne introduced the forward pass: People just stood still in amazement, knowing that respectively, both science and football would never be the same.   That’s sort of how I reacted when I read this on popsugar:

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have backed out of their trip to this weekend’s White House Correspondents Dinner because no one would pay for an uninvited Spencer’s first-class ticket and it wasn’t “A-listy” enough

To fully explain how awesome this move is, let’s break it down in terms that we humans can understand:  Imagine someone was throwing a party and you were definitely NOT invited to it.  Like, they made it clear you couldn’t come.  Then you called that person and said “Either pay for my cab fare to this party or I’m not coming.”   Would that make you retarded, or brilliant?  I honestly can’t say which.  I’ll leave it up to future scholars to judge.

As far as not being “a-listy enough,” he might have the point.  The Presidents approval rating is at a record low, so he’s been hanging with a pretty d-list crowd.

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No More Busch for President Bush

In an exclusive interview with ABC News, President Bush said that if he didn’t stop getting totally housed on the booze, he probably wouldn’t be president right now. Hmm, maybe he’s smarter than everyone gives him credit for:

“I doubt I’d be standing here if I hadn’t quit drinking whiskey, and beer and wine and all that,” the president disclosed Tuesday to ABC News’ Martha Raddatz during an exclusive tour of the White House residence.

“I wasn’t a knee-walking drunk,” Bush said. “It’s a difficult thing to do, which is to kick an addiction.”

“Alcohol can compete with your affections. It sure did in my case,” Bush said, “affections with your family, or affections for exercise.”

Did he just say “affections for exercise”? I only say stupid shit like that after I’ve had six or seven Irish Car Bombs. If you’d like to see what the Prez was like back when he was on the sauce, put on your beer goggles and watch the video below:

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