Rap Battle Rule #1: Don’t Talk About Austin’s Mom

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There seems to be a slight miscommunication between the two kids in this video. The kid on the right (Patrick) appears to think he is in a freestyle rap battle with his friend. And, as in most rap battles, the topics up for discussion (or rapping) can be anything from your opponent’s “wackness” to your opponent’s mom’s gift for fellatio. The kid on the left (Austin), on the other hand, appears to think he’s in freestyle punching Patrick in the face battle. In the end, we’re all winners.

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Who’s A Better Rapper: Will.I.Am or Raindrop?

Will.I.Am managed to put on the worst performance in rap history at yesterday’s Grammys. It was more embarrassing than watching your parents have sex…with your grandparents. It was so bad that it reminded me of Raindrop—the 12-year-old hip hop extraordinaire who laid waste to MC Mike Glambin in a now legendary middle school rap battle. I am asking this question seriously: Can you tell me who is a better rapper?

I can’t tell the difference between the wildly successful rapper who’s made millions and the bucktoothed suburban dork who stutters and drools all over himself. I’ll call this one a draw.

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