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Poems From My Heart

Writing Poetry

We love poetry. It’s the art of boiling down your (hopefully) profound thoughts about life in to a few concise couplets. It’s beautiful and takes years of practice to master. We’ve been at it for about 17 minuets. 17 minuets may n…

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The Inner Monologue of a Degenerate Gambler Watching That Kid with Down Syndrome Score a Touchdown

The Inner Monologue of a Degenerate Gambler Watching That Kid with Down Syndrome Score a Touchdown

It took me weeks, but I finally found a bookie who would let me bet on high-school football games. And now my persistence has paid off. I’m about to win $10,000! I knew there was no way the Panthers would cover a 40 point over! They have no o…

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When to Say Retard

When to Say Retard

Like us, you may have been surprised to learn (about 20 years ago) that some people frown on the use of the word retard. And every time it’s said again, the same problem pops up. For 20 years! It’s a hilariously retarded misunderstan…

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The Most Special Cop In The World

The Most Special Cop In The World

  He always tells the best knock-knock jokes.   Midget Wrestling Hits Spike (TotalProSports) Athletes to Keep your daughter Away from (BleacherReport) Hello Synthetic Lifeform (BuzzFeed) Wendy Combattente Hotness (GorillaMask) Hot Girl&#…

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Guest Column: From the Census Worker Troll

Guest Column: From the Census Worker Troll

  I guess you could say I’m just your average troll. I like to hang out under bridges and give travelers a hard time. I enjoy stealing small, valuable objects from people and hiding them in my underground home in the woods. Y’know,…

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Your New Favorite Band

Your-New-Favorite-Band

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Makes Retarded British Kids Cry

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Makes Retarded British Kids Cry

MODERN WARFARE 2 SUCKS – Watch more Funny Videos Just give it some time, dude.  You gotta learn the maps!

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Where Will YOU Be 15 Years From Now?

Where-Will-YOU-Be-15-Years-Now

20 Hot Chicks in Painted-On Sports Jerseys (TotalProSports)   Getting Laid At A Haunted House (MadeMan)   January Jones On The Speedway (AllLeftTurns)   Tom Cruise Goes To College (ScreenJunkies)   Sexy Superfans Are…Sexy (…

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More Like “Lady–GAH!” Am I Right?…Huh? Hello? Is This Thing On?

More-Lady-GAH-Am-I-RightHuh-Hello-Thing

Does Kanye Have Asperger’s Syndrome?

Does Kanye Have Asperger’s Syndrome?

This is our last Kanye post, I promise.     

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Inner Monologue of Kanye West at the VMAs Last Night

Inner Monologue of Kanye West at the VMAs Last Night

Man, what the f*ck is this shit?! Fourth row at the VMA’s? This is ridiculous.  My music video is one of the five videos that got nominated for everything tonight!  I should be front row, baby!  Instead they got those attractive…

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