reviews – Holytaco

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 17th

Last week was all about Iron Man again because of course it was, all it had as competition was The Great Gatsby. This week a new brand of nerdism rears its ugly head and storms into theaters. Will any other movie have a chance? Ha ha ha, of cours…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th

posted 05/10/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week, predictable, Iron Man 3 made all the money ever. According to Box Office Mojo it now holds the #2 spot for the greatest gap in box office take between the top grossing film and the second top grossing film in the same week. Iron Man 3 w…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 3rd

posted 05/03/2013
by Ian Fortey

What a joke of an article this is going to be, in stark contrast to the usual seriousness of a series that solely exists for me to judge movies I have never and in most cases will never watch. That said, this week is especially delightful because c…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: April 26th

posted 04/26/2013
by Ian Fortey

A few years ago, couldn’t say when exactly, May really became the month when studios started ushering out the big blockbusters. Summer has always been the season of huge film releases but the date of the year’s first big tentpole seems to always fa…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: April 19th

posted 04/19/2013
by Ian Fortey

We’ve all had a week to recover from none of us seeing Scary Movie 5, so that’s good. In what was a surprise to no one, that movie sucked and is making shit money. I don’t understand how people keep throwing money at shitty ideas like that. I wil…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 12th

posted 04/12/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week Evil Dead put everyone in their place and I actually went to see it and was right, it was pretty awesome. Was it the best movie ever? No, but it was alright and I don’t regret paying to see it. I would not be able to say that about any …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

posted 04/05/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week I watched John Dies at the End, which you can now see on DVD or Blu Ray. I have nothing much else to say about movies in theaters. I’m sure they were all wonderful and thought provoking and interesting and not shitty. Did GI Joe open? …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

posted 03/29/2013
by Ian Fortey

The Croods owned the box office last week because a big cartoon tentpole is always sure money. People go see animated releases now because Pixar is all artsy fartsy and you’re almost considered somehow now a film fan if you don’t sit through someth…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 22nd

posted 03/22/2013
by Ian Fortey

I honestly never remember what I wrote about the week before without looking and this week I refused to check. I think last week Oz won again even though it opened the week before. Oh, Burt Wonderstone opened last week. Yeah, no one saw that. On…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 15th

posted 03/15/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week audiences were whisked away to Oz and from the looks of things this week we’re about to be whisked away to a placed no one gives a shit about. Yeah, it’s another slow looking week of shrugs and turds but there may be one or two gems in th…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 8th

posted 03/08/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week I actually saw Jack the Giant Slayer and it should be used to teach future generations about mediocrity. I’m as sour as an old spinster when I write these, aren’t I? Just crusty and unhappy about everything. Curse you Hollywood, make st…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 17th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 3rd

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: April 26th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: April 19th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 12th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 22nd

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 15th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 8th

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