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The 25 Best Things About Krampus


Are you familiar with Krampus? Our Alpine friends cooked him up as a sort of counter to Saint Nicholas. He’s basically a Christmas monster that shows up and punishes bad kids and if they’re particularly bad, they get stuffed in his sack and taken …

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How to Be a Mall Santa


So you’ve decided to be society’s version of herpes, good for you! Now is the season when mall Santas are in higher demand than ever because early June mall Santas are usually serial killers who are actually volunteers more often than not. Many po…

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How To Tell If Your Mom Is Sleeping With Santa Claus

How To Tell If Your Mom Is Sleeping With Santa Claus

We’re not here to prove or disprove the existence of Santa Claus, but we will tell you that as a collective group, the Holy Taco staff does believe that there is a good possibility that Santa Claus does exist. We only say that because after s…

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25 Unwatchable Santa Movies


Tis the season to watch movies featuring Santa Claus. Except for all of these ones, they’re abhorrent.

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You + Santa + Machine Guns = And All-American Christmas


So you’ve been planning to take the kids to the mall to get their annual photo with Santa Claus. Sounds like a good idea. If you’re an anti-American pansy! You gonna get another picture of your lame kid in an ugly sweater, forcing a smi…

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The Santa Tossing Contest Winner

santa game

Last week we asked you to head to Facebook and give tossing Santa a try. After many grueling hours of St. Nick abuse, the numbers have been tallied and we have a winner – Ryan Maurer with a score of 14,826. Ryan, shoot us an email at contes…

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The 12 Deviant Days of Christmas: 9 Rotting Reindeer


No animal is more synonymous with Christmas than the majestic reindeer. After all, the arctic beast is just as responsible for delivering toys to all the good girls and boys as old Saint Nick himself. In fact, if not for the reindeer, Santa would j…

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A Recession Era Letter To Santa


With Christmas just around the corner we tend to forget that there are people in this world, even in our own cities, that are less fortunate than us. The economy has been rough for the past few years and people are trying to find new ways to live w…

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All I Want For Christmas Is A Painful Death


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The Ol’ Roofie In The Eggnog Trick!


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Right Down Santa Claus Lane


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