During last night’s All-Star Game, Joe Buck was interviewing Yogi Berra in the booth and Yogi started complaining about all the photo ops he had to do. Buck asked him about Sarah Jessica Parker and Yogi responded, “She’s not bad.” Which is a compliment, when you consider that she is very very bad.
While this may seem like a nonchalant jab, it is clearly a payback for a problem Yogi had with the Sex and the City wenches back in 2005. According to TheSmokingGun:
JANUARY 31–Claiming that his good name has been sullied by a “Sex and the City” advertisement, baseball legend Yogi Berra has sued Turner Broadcasting System for $10 million.
In the below New York State Supreme Court complaint, Berra, 79, contends that TBS improperly used his name in outdoor ads (on buses and subway kiosks) promoting the cable channel’s reruns of the racy HBO show starring Sarah Jessica Parker.
Noting that he is a married grandfather and a “deeply religious man who has maintained and continues to maintain a moral lifestyle,” the former New York Yankee claims that he has been tainted by the ad, which references the loose lifestyle of “Sex” character Samantha, portrayed by Kim Cattrall.
The offensive ads, Berra reported, sought the definition of the term “Yogasm.” One of the possible definitions listed in the ad was, “b) sex with Yogi Berra.” The correct answer was “c) what Samantha has with a guy from yoga class.”
I would’ve liked to have seen the “deeply religious” Yogi walking down the street and seeing an ad for a show he’s never heard of featuring four whores talking about having sex with him. Did he immediately start asking people on the street questions like, “Why are those harlots talking about having sex with me?” and “What’s Yoga?” and “Is that one a man?” or if he waited until he got home to ask those questions.
Other crap to look at:
Davina Taylor is topless. No, really. (drunkenstepfather)
Sofia Georgiou is attractive (cameltap)
Ramona Chorleau? Also attractive (gorillamask)
Sexy Victoria’s Secret backstage pics (hornyoyster)
Ichiro has a potty mouth (withleather)
Please stop humping the midget (donchavez)
Bad karaoke is better than good karaoke (comedy.com)
Something interesting happened on The McLaughlin Group (BestWeekEver)
In what can only be described as a shocking upset, 72% of Holy Taco readers declared that they’d rather have sexual intercourse with potential Triple Crown winning thoroughbred Big Brown than film and television star Sarah Jessica Parker, even with the possibility of jail time due to the beastiality laws enforced in most states. With the “Sex And The City” movie opening last week, one can only assume from the results of this poll that the film would have pulled in an even higher box office total if Carrie Bradshaw had been played by the speedy equine.
Several of the readers were quite enthusiastic about their choice.
“I’d Bang Big Brown. You know you can get a ride home afterwards,” said reader Seabas92109.
Other’s pointed to Big Brown’s striking features.
“Both look alike, but I’d pick Big Brown….Way more azzz and prettier eyes than SJP!,” according to reader Fruggie.
Whatever the reason, one thing is clear, Big Brown has once again come out victorious.
Whoa. Sarah Jessica Parker has, quite possibly, the most disgusting hands I have ever seen in my life. Does she keep them in an oven when she’s not using them? Does she boil them once a day? How does a 43-year-old woman get the hands of a 4,300 year-old woman? Did Ferris Buehler grow up to get HJs from these? What the hell is wrong with the world? Should I ask more questions?
This is one of the biggest problems men have with this show. It portrays the image that if you dress anyone up in a collection of colorful, crappy and uber-fashionny clothes that it will hide all their physical flaws and turn them into some radiant princess. Well, I did a little research, and it seems that they not only dress up Mrs. Parker in the world’s fanciest clothes. But they also do a very large make-up job on her hands, too. Here’s what her hands look like without any make-up:
Do I think Matthew Broderick is gay? No. But we’ve all heard the rumors that his marriage to Sarah Jessica Parker is a sham because he likes to pitch (and catch) for the other team and she…well, she looks like her. So, if you and I have heard these rumors, I’m pretty sure SJP has too. Which makes me wonder why she would say this in New York Magazine:
“Matthew doesn’t have enough friends,” she tells me, sounding very mother-hennish and adding that Matthew has mostly gay friends in New York.
If I were Sarah Jessica Parker (and I pray to God that someday I will be), and I had a slightly effeminete husband who people called a mega flamer, I might mention his love of the Chicago Bears or his ability pound countless beers at any given sporting event or his insatiable desire to cram as many hot dogs in his mouth at one time…um, maybe I’d skip that last one.
This my friends, is a Sarah Jessica Parker love doll found on a German site called bildschirmarbeiter.com, by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. Why you would want a SJP love doll, I have no idea. It’d be like be going to The Home Depot for lunch.
I swear to you I did not make this in photoshop. If I had, I would have used an actual picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and not what is clearly a transvestite who shockingly looks almost exactly like SJP. Plus, if I could come up with both “Sarah Jessica Porkher” and “She Loves Sex In Her Shitty,” I wouldn’t be wasting my time as a blogger, I’d be show running “Two and a Half Men.” The greatest part about this is that this website offers several of these celebrity love dolls and none of the models look ANYTHING like the celebrities. Take a look at J-Lo’s, or should I say “J-Ho’s.” I’m pretty sure this was just the first hispanic woman that walked past their office.
If you find it really annoying when a celebrity publicly endorses a candidate then you’re going to find this INCREDIBLY annoying. People.com reports:
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama may be hard at work on the campaign trail, but the senator from Illinois can count on James Wilkie Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s 5-year-old son.
“He’s very into Barack Obama,” Parker told reporters
I wonder whether little James is into Barack because of his stance on health care or his stance on making pee pees like a big boy only when you’re ready. This press conference must have been down right riveting. I wonder who her dog endorses for president. Maybe they can put a picture of Barack on one of its testicles and a picture of Hillary on the other. Then, which ever testicle the dog licks, that person gets Sarah Jessica Parker’s Dog’s endorsement.
Politicians never remember taking pictures with people who turn out to be criminals. In fact, nobody in Washington ever remembers anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw one of them pull down their pants in the middle of a debate and take a shit, and then the moderator say “Excuse me! What are you doing?” and the politician says “Oh. God. I’m so sorry. I forgot that I was supposed to go to the bathroom and do this.”
Anyway, maybe she doesn’t remember taking that picture, but she sure as hell better remember this one:
I mean seriously, who forgets taking a picture with Sarah Jessica Parker. Also, I can understand why Saddam would be upset, I’ve been to these junkets. They just grab you and toss you in a picture. Very intrusive.
Remember when you’d go to the dentist’s office when you were a kid and there’d be a copy of Highlights Magazine on the waiting room table? And you were so bored that you thumbed through the whole thing? Well, that ...
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