science – Holytaco

Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

Hey, you, with the scraggly pubes on your face that you think makes you look mature, wise, and rugged. That thatch of barbershop dumpster contents you’ve got on your face that you call a “beard” isn’t as sexually appealing as you once thought. In fa…

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SpeechJammer: The Handy Little Device That Can Shut You Up

posted 03/05/2012
by Luis Prada

Getting people to shut up is one of those wonderful little powers we all wish we had. We’ve all been in a conversation with someone and halfway through realized listening to them speak can be detrimental to our mental health. Or maybe we’ve sat in a…

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How To Make A Test-Tube Hamburger

posted 02/20/2012
by Luis Prada

Are you hungry now but are tired of the immediacy of today’s foods? Are you looking for long-form cooking that integrates the arts of stem cell manipulation and slapping Mother Nature’s dumb, leafy face? Of course you are! Thanks to the wonders of m…

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Stephen Hawking Spends Most of His Days Thinking About Boobs

posted 01/06/2012
by Luis Prada

Stephen Hawking. He’s one of the smartest people to have ever lived, and even he, in his infinite, universally expansive wisdom, has no goddamn clue how women function. In an interview with New Scientist magazine, Hawking was asked what he thinks a…

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Dear God Particle: Holy Taco’s Wishlist for an All Powerful Subatomic Theoretical Particle

posted 12/14/2011
by Ian Fortey

Earlier this week, nerds were abuzz with the news that scientists at CERN (which probably doesn’t stand for Crap Eric Roberts Needs) had a big announcement about the Higgs boson. In the media they call this the God particle, for pretty much no rea…

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Sulfur Hexafluoride Is My New Favorite Thing

posted 12/06/2011
by Jim Tews

Sulfur Hexafluoride Is My New Favorite Thing

If “Breaking Bad” was on when I was in high school, I probably would’ve passed chemistry. Not because I wanted to make crystal meth, but because I probably would’ve realized there was a lot of cool things you could do with c…

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Three Terrifying Developments In Robot Technology

posted 11/29/2011
by Jim Tews

The advancements in robot technology are constantly making mind-blowing leaps and bounds, and nobody but me seems to be afraid of it. It’s almost as if nobody ever, in the world, particularly in China and Japan, is completely unfamiliar with …

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Attention Microbes In The Ocean: Stop Farting In Our Water

posted 10/19/2011
by Luis Prada

Knowing that sea-fearing microbes make up a large percentage of our readership, I am going to address this article to them, or really, to you. My message is simple, and I will be very direct: Microbes, Stop Farting In our Oceans. I know, you’re but…

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The Kraken Is Real

posted 10/11/2011
by Jim Tews

Good news, what you’ve believed all along is absolutely true (for the most part) and there is (sort of) scientific proof — the Kraken is real. Just in case you’re not familiar with what a Kraken is, it’s that giant octopus-l…

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Potential New Earth Discovered — Endless Opportunities To Ruin Another Planet

posted 09/12/2011
by Jim Tews

Over fifty new planets have now been discovered by an exoplanet hunting telescope, according to an article from National Geographic, and one of them may be totally inhabitable. And by inhabitable, I mean ripe for human destruction! The planet scien…

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Self-Driving Cars, Facial Recognition and Alligator Chickens: The Future Is Terrifying!

posted 08/24/2011
by Jim Tews

I’m all for advances in science and technology. Not afraid of moving forward! However, at some point, we should probably be taking a step back and reviewing those advances, and maybe asking ourselves “Will Alligator-Chickens in anyway i…

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Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

SpeechJammer: The Handy Little Device That Can Shut You Up

How To Make A Test-Tube Hamburger

Stephen Hawking Spends Most of His Days Thinking About Boobs

Dear God Particle: Holy Taco’s Wishlist for an All Powerful Subatomic Theoretical Particle

Sulfur Hexafluoride Is My New Favorite Thing

Three Terrifying Developments In Robot Technology

Attention Microbes In The Ocean: Stop Farting In Our Water

The Kraken Is Real

Potential New Earth Discovered — Endless Opportunities To Ruin Another Planet

Self-Driving Cars, Facial Recognition and Alligator Chickens: The Future Is Terrifying!

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