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Stephen Hawking Spends Most of His Days Thinking About Boobs

Stephen Hawking_Boobs

Stephen Hawking. He’s one of the smartest people to have ever lived, and even he, in his infinite, universally expansive wisdom, has no goddamn clue how women function. In an interview with New Scientist magazine, Hawking was asked what he thinks a…

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Dear God Particle: Holy Taco’s Wishlist for an All Powerful Subatomic Theoretical Particle

god particle

Earlier this week, nerds were abuzz with the news that scientists at CERN (which probably doesn’t stand for Crap Eric Roberts Needs) had a big announcement about the Higgs boson. In the media they call this the God particle, for pretty much no rea…

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Sulfur Hexafluoride Is My New Favorite Thing

Sulfur Hexafluoride Is My New Favorite Thing

If “Breaking Bad” was on when I was in high school, I probably would’ve passed chemistry. Not because I wanted to make crystal meth, but because I probably would’ve realized there was a lot of cool things you could do with c…

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Three Terrifying Developments In Robot Technology

AntEaterRobot

The advancements in robot technology are constantly making mind-blowing leaps and bounds, and nobody but me seems to be afraid of it. It’s almost as if nobody ever, in the world, particularly in China and Japan, is completely unfamiliar with …

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Attention Microbes In The Ocean: Stop Farting In Our Water

no-farting

Knowing that sea-fearing microbes make up a large percentage of our readership, I am going to address this article to them, or really, to you. My message is simple, and I will be very direct: Microbes, Stop Farting In our Oceans. I know, you’re but…

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The Kraken Is Real

KrakenHeader

Good news, what you’ve believed all along is absolutely true (for the most part) and there is (sort of) scientific proof — the Kraken is real. Just in case you’re not familiar with what a Kraken is, it’s that giant octopus-l…

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Potential New Earth Discovered — Endless Opportunities To Ruin Another Planet

SecondEarth

Over fifty new planets have now been discovered by an exoplanet hunting telescope, according to an article from National Geographic, and one of them may be totally inhabitable. And by inhabitable, I mean ripe for human destruction! The planet scien…

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Self-Driving Cars, Facial Recognition and Alligator Chickens: The Future Is Terrifying!

TheFuture

I’m all for advances in science and technology. Not afraid of moving forward! However, at some point, we should probably be taking a step back and reviewing those advances, and maybe asking ourselves “Will Alligator-Chickens in anyway i…

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“Rich People Suck”, Says Super Smart Pyschologist, Dr. Duh

RichPeople

According to a new study by Psychologist Dacher Keltner, rich people are out of touch and not very empathetic. Once again, a scientist has spent countless hours, and probably a lot of money, to discover what those of us living in the real world alr…

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An Open Letter To The State of Mississippi

mississippi

  Hey Mississippi, It looks like you have been officially crowned the most obese state in the union for the year of 2011, which makes this your 7th successful title defense. If you were a professional sports team, that would be wonderful news …

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In The Future Computers Will Read Your Mind, Thus Filling Your Screen With Porn

In The Future Computers Will Read Your Mind, Thus Filling Your Screen With Porn

Science is wonderful, isn’t it? Take this story about a recently published scientific study in which “scientists from Washington University demonstrated that humans can control a cursor on a computer screen using words spoken out loud and in their …

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