science – Holytaco

Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

Hey, you, with the scraggly pubes on your face that you think makes you look mature, wise, and rugged. That thatch of barbershop dumpster contents you’ve got on your face that you call a “beard” isn’t as sexually appealing as you once thought. In fa…

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“Rich People Suck”, Says Super Smart Pyschologist, Dr. Duh

posted 08/10/2011
by Jim Tews

According to a new study by Psychologist Dacher Keltner, rich people are out of touch and not very empathetic. Once again, a scientist has spent countless hours, and probably a lot of money, to discover what those of us living in the real world alr…

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An Open Letter To The State of Mississippi

posted 07/08/2011
by Luis Prada

Hey Mississippi, It looks like you have been officially crowned the most obese state in the union for the year of 2011, which makes this your 7th successful title defense. If you were a professional sports team, that would be wonderful news …

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In The Future Computers Will Read Your Mind, Thus Filling Your Screen With Porn

posted 04/07/2011
by Luis Prada

In The Future Computers Will Read Your Mind, Thus Filling Your Screen With Porn

Science is wonderful, isn’t it? Take this story about a recently published scientific study in which “scientists from Washington University demonstrated that humans can control a cursor on a computer screen using words spoken out loud and in their …

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7 Accidental Discoveries That Make Trailer Park Life Suck Less

posted 02/01/2011
by Ian Fortey

7 Accidental Discoveries That Make Trailer Park Life Suck Less

This article is by Andy Green, who wants to spread his seed to every trailer park in the South. Science. It has been mankind’s friend for a while now when it’s not making cyborg sex monkeys or mummies that have laser vision. Some of its great…

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STOP THE PRESSES!: Scientists Create The Perfect Pepper For Jalapeno Poppers!

posted 01/19/2011
by Luis Prada

Today began as an average day. We all woke up, drank our coffee, ate our breakfast, and went to work, while at all times knowing for a fact that today was going to be the most normal and uneventful of days. But then…the news broke…the news that wil…

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Let Us All Thank NASA For Preventing The Radioactive Monkey Apocolypse

posted 12/14/2010
by Luis Prada

Let Us All Thank NASA For Preventing The Radioactive Monkey Apocolypse

NASA, you have shown great wisdom in your decision to preemptively end your series of tests in which you were going to measure the amount of space radiation a human could endure by exposing 27 squirrel monkeys to gamma rays. Sure, the reason you di…

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Science Says Internet Hate Brings Us Together You Morons

posted 12/07/2010
by Ian Fortey

Science Says Internet Hate Brings Us Together You Morons

You’re all a bunch of dumbass morons, do you know that? All of you Holy Taco readers are idiots — complete and total idiots. Every last one of you is a waste of your father’s man milk, and the time you spent in your mother’s…

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Finally! The Spray-On Shirt None Of Us Were Asking For!

posted 10/11/2010
by

Science is capable of achieving some wonderful things, isn’t it? With it we were able to fake the moon landing, pretend we cured polio, and invent silly putty. Truly glorious stuff. But sometimes science makes crap that just sucks. Not…

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5 Legitimate Reasons to View Porn at Work

posted 09/16/2010
by

The National Science Foundation is in the news again. Normally, Holy Taco’s not big on the whole “science” thing, but luckily for us, this particular story focuses more on Internet pornography than it does clinical analysis. As it…

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The Downside of Teaching Robots to Lie

posted 09/13/2010
by

For those of you who don’t read crappy British tabloids, the Daily Mail is reporting that scientists at the Georgia Institute of Technology are developing robots that can "deceive humans and even hide from their enemies." I found th…

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Stephen Hawking Isn’t As Smart As We Thought

posted 09/03/2010
by

World-famous physicist Stephen Hawking is considered by many to be the smartest man alive. Not only did he spend 30 years as the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, a post once held by Isaac Newton, but he also has a really cool robot v…

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Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

“Rich People Suck”, Says Super Smart Pyschologist, Dr. Duh

An Open Letter To The State of Mississippi

In The Future Computers Will Read Your Mind, Thus Filling Your Screen With Porn

7 Accidental Discoveries That Make Trailer Park Life Suck Less

STOP THE PRESSES!: Scientists Create The Perfect Pepper For Jalapeno Poppers!

Let Us All Thank NASA For Preventing The Radioactive Monkey Apocolypse

Science Says Internet Hate Brings Us Together You Morons

Finally! The Spray-On Shirt None Of Us Were Asking For!

5 Legitimate Reasons to View Porn at Work

The Downside of Teaching Robots to Lie

Stephen Hawking Isn’t As Smart As We Thought

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