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The Oldest Dildo in the World: A Perspective

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It’s 28,000 years ago. Saber-toothed cats still exist. As do Neanderthals. Humanity is slowly establishing itself, art is being created, and tools. And in a cave, in what is present day Germany, someone stores their stone dildo. It’s about 8 in…

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Probably the Best Vibrator Commercial Ever

Probably the Best Vibrator Commercial Ever

Like us, you probably watch a lot of vibrator commercials when you’re flipping between Two and a Half Men and CSI: Gary, Indiana and every single one of those vibrator commercials is more ridiculous than the next. But for the first time ever…

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And Here Is A Video Of A Talking Vibrator

Talking Vibrator

There’s a very good chance that I will get fired if I post a video of a talking vibrator in action, even if it isn’t even inside of someone. But, then again, I’m not sure, because this article exists. And this one. The video might be co…

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Would You Bang A Miley Cyrus Sex Doll? Because Now You Can!

miley-cyrus-blow-up-doll-picture

If you and two other buddies are thinking of start a band, might we suggest you quickly snatch up the name “3 Achy Love Holes” before some sexual deviant rockstar takes a glance at the packing of the new Miley Cyrus inflatable sex doll before pumps…

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Home for Sale: Three Bedroom, Two Bath, One Big Black Dildo

bathroom

It’s one thing for a home to come pre-furnished, but quite another for it to be furnished with a big black dildo. That being said, it is a buyer’s market, so perhaps a complimentary sex toy will give this Houston-area seller the edge sh…

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The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

Charles: Alright, so, the next item on the list is the Guidette Love Doll. Now, we have the box art squared away: a girl that, even though she looks like a whore, looks significantly less whore-ish than Snooki, which I think is a compliment, and a …

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Modern Sexism: The Call Me Panty

Modern Sexism:  The Call Me Panty

The entire staff at Holy Taco is up in arms today, thanks to an email we received alerting us to the existence of the Call Me Panty. It’s some gitch with a pocket in the front you can put your cell phone in, intended for ladies who want to p…

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12 Ridiculous Vibrators That Really Exist

12 Ridiculous Vibrators That Really Exist

Despite what the commentors say, I’m a straight guy. As such, I’ve never had much experience with vibrators. It’s not that I’m confident in my ability to satisfy a woman. Far from it. It’s just that I never cared enoug…

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4 Types of People Most Affected By Getting Rid of The Cardboard Tubes In Toilet Paper Rolls

4 Types of People Most Affected By Getting Rid of The Cardboard Tubes In Toilet Paper Rolls

It has been said that when people or companies become too large and successful, they begin to lose sight of what truly matters, more specifically, what it was that got them to the top in the first place. This perfectly describes the Scott toilet pa…

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The 10 Most Exciting Alternate Uses for a Fleshlight

The 10 Most Exciting Alternate Uses for a Fleshlight

In my capacity as a website editor, I’m sometimes offered products that the makers would like me to promote. Often I will turn down these offers because I can’t think of any way to spin duvet covers into an interesting article. But on…

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This New Toy Story Really Is More Mature

This New Toy Story Really Is More Mature