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Kids Aren’t Hilariously Inappropriate. Crappy Photoshoppers Are.

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Kids being accidentally inappropriate is a curiously viral thing. These little tykes are so gosh-darn innocent, and so ludicrously bad at spelling, whenever they try to write something cute, it comes out evil, sexual, or sexually evil. Problem: ever…

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Finding Sex In an Airport Bathroom Is Harder Than I Thought

Finding Sex In an Airport Bathroom Is Harder Than I Thought

Who would have thought this would be so complicated? Famous people get arrested for this all the time: that Senator from Idaho, George Michael, the dad from “Family Ties.” Wait, maybe not that last one. He was the guy in Tremors, right?…

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Pet Sex and You

Pet Sex and You

If the title of this terrifies you, it should, it’s a terrifying subject. But more importantly, it’s an important subject. Your pet tells the entire world what kind of sexer you are. Thought we were going in a different direction? W…

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Penthouse Letters That Didn’t Make The Cut

Penthouse Letters That Didn’t Make The Cut

    Plugging It In     Dear, Penthouse I’m a cable TV installer. Normally my job is pretty boring. But the other day I had an experience that I will not soon forget! I was assigned a house over in downtown, a real posh apa…

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6 Things the New Iraq Needs

6 Things the New Iraq Needs

So all our soldiers are back in America now right? Something like that. If not today then soon as we have ended all wars and probably we won’t have another one until those Swedes push us a bit too far. Since 2001, we have brought freedom a…

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Resolved Questions: Straight Sex With Gay Guy?

Resolved Questions: Straight Sex With Gay Guy?

Today’s question comes to us via Yahoo! Answers user Shelby. Shelby writes:  

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How to Get Dumped

How to Get Dumped

If you’re a social malcontent, you may suffer the same issues we do whereby you suffer the inability to break up in a proper, mature fashion with another human being. Instead, not wanting to have that guilt on your shoulders, you simply forc…

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I Really Want To Find A Suitcase Full Of Money

I Really Want To Find A Suitcase Full Of Money

  As we grow up we are indoctrinated with the idea that we need a life plan, two life plans, in fact.  One major career goal and one backup in-case the first one doesn’t work out. I went thought many major career goals as I grew:&nb…

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How To Read A Book

How To Read A Book

Man, with all this internet stuff nowadays, DVR’s recording all the shows that we want to watch, and all of those video games I want to play, it’s getting harder and harder to sit down with a good book and indulge in the craft and beaut…

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Maury Povich Hires a Hooker

Maury Povich Hires a Hooker

The Downside of Teaching Robots to Lie

The Downside of Teaching Robots to Lie

For those of you who don’t read crappy British tabloids, the Daily Mail is reporting that scientists at the Georgia Institute of Technology are developing robots that can "deceive humans and even hide from their enemies." I found th…

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Losing Your Virginity: A Step-By-Step Guide

Losing Your Virginity: A Step-By-Step Guide

Let’s jump right in to this: your first sexual experience will be a failure on par with that terrible memory you have of that time you forgot your lines in the school play and, in lieu of dialogue, you chose to urinate all over your Tin Man c…

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