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Kids Aren’t Hilariously Inappropriate. Crappy Photoshoppers Are.

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Kids being accidentally inappropriate is a curiously viral thing. These little tykes are so gosh-darn innocent, and so ludicrously bad at spelling, whenever they try to write something cute, it comes out evil, sexual, or sexually evil. Problem: ever…

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Flowchart To Determine If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

Flowchart To Determine If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

Girlfriends are a lot like volcanoes: they’re fascinating and mysterious, and at any time they can explode and completely blow your head off.  I might be confusing volcanoes with those collars from the movie Scanners.  Anyway, here&…

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Insert Foxhole Joke Here

Insert-Foxhole-Joke-Here

Hot Gator Chick Wants To Get T-Boned (TotalProSports)   13 Real Animals Lifted from Your Nightmares (CollegeHumor)   Stealing From Work Is Fun (MinimumRage)   The Buxom Babes Of Oktoberfest (Coed)   Top Models Are On Top For A Re…

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A Flowchart To Determine If The Chick You’re About To Bang Is Too Fat For You

A Flowchart To Determine If The Chick You’re About To Bang Is Too Fat For You

 Flowcharts are a good way to organize your thoughts and get a better grasp on a complex situation.  That’s why we’ve created this helpful flowchart to help you determine if the chick that you’re about to bang is too fat …

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An Email Exchange Between Pirates

An Email Exchange Between Pirates

If you’re a modern Somali Pirate, you can charge your victims for expenses incurred while holding a ship hostage in addition to the ransom that you’re demanding.  That’s like someone crapping on your face, and then making you …

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F*ckin’ Bears

Fckin-Bears

A Flowchart to Determing if You’re Going to Have Sex on this Date

A Flowchart to Determing if You’re Going to Have Sex on this Date

When you’re out on a date, it’s hard to avoid wondering whether or not the night is going to end with you having sex.  With that in mind, we’ve created this handy flowchart to help you determine whether or not your going to ha…

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8 Things That Will Definitely Happen at Summer Camp

8 Things That Will Definitely Happen at Summer Camp

Summer Camp is an important experience in every young boy’s life.  Camp is the place where some of the most formative events of your adolescent existence occur.  So, for all the 9-14 year olds out there who regularly read Holy Taco, …

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Justin and Johnny: Whore Island

Justin and Johnny: Whore Island

Here at Holy Taco, we frequently get off topic when we’re discussing things.  Today Justin Thomas and Johnny Wickham had a lively conversation over AIM that pretty much sums up what we do 8 hours a day.    

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Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

  Hey dude!  It’s me, your penis!  We know each other pretty well, so let’s skip the cheezy introductions and get down to business: we need to talk.  You’ve been coming up short big time lately, and something&#…

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The Evolution of Sluts

The Evolution of Sluts

Everyone knows that all girls are not sluts.  In fact, sometimes the best girls are not explicitely slutty in any way.  But even if you happen to be dating one of these not-slutty-but-still-awesome girls, chances are you still like watchin…

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Screaming Turtle Orgasm

Screaming Turtle Orgasm