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Here’s That Photo of Julia Louis-Dreyfus Banging a Clown That Everybody’s Talking About


Carry on, Julia. Your clown-sex photos are romantic and tasteful.

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The Oldest Dildo in the World: A Perspective


It’s 28,000 years ago. Saber-toothed cats still exist. As do Neanderthals. Humanity is slowly establishing itself, art is being created, and tools. And in a cave, in what is present day Germany, someone stores their stone dildo. It’s about 8 in…

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8 Animals Ruined by Humans


You know who names animals? People. A dog didn’t wander into Babylon one day and tell everyone it was called a dog. The word came from an old English word for a specific kind of canine and then bam! English has a word for that animal. So every …

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What Your Sex Toy Says About You


Say, you like treating your body like an amusement park, right? Sure you do! It’s the reason we all have dongs and lady dongs, whatever those may be. But is there some secret to what rubber or plaster widget makes your gitch twitch? Is there a hi…

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9 of the Most Depressing Fetishes Ever


Fetishes make the world go ‘round and everyone is into something. You prefer blondes, you prefer big boobs, you like honey mustard on your taint, whatever. Most fetishes (not all. Never all. But most) are perfectly OK. It’s a harmless quirk tha…

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When Boobs Go Bad


Any man on Earth with an interest in boobs (gay guys, go have a smoothie) can confirm that, at some point in time, in a conversation with a woman, you’ll be challenged with the spurious and confused notion that men just love boobs.

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How to Make Love


So, you’ve decided to stick it to genetics and luck and try your hand at sweet, sweet coitus, good for you. The sex act, or porking, is one of the most satisfying ways to spend a commercial break man has ever devised. It provides a level of closen…

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The Worst Thing Ever


I want you to look at something and know that it’s not my fault. I didn’t do this. I wouldn’t do this. But it’s a thing that happened and I never knew about it until just now, two years after the fact. Just look.

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Facebook’s Eerie Parrot Subculture


This article will make no sense. I will not explain to you how I happened upon the information I’m about to share because it is not relevant. All you need to know is that it is true and verifiable and ridiculous. Facebook is full of parrots.

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10 New Sex Positions for a New You


Have you been paying attention to the calendar? December 21st is fast approaching and, if people who breathe through their mouths when they think are to be believed, that’s the last day of existence. No shit. The Mayans, a race of people who real…

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4 Kinds of Urine You Can Buy Right Now


Did you pee today? You should have, because it’s weird if you went a day without peeing. But did you ever stop to appreciate your urine? Probably not unless you’re one of those freaks on the internet. Oh. Hmm.

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The Kick Ass Kiss Komparison


How many times have you been invited to a kick ass makeout party full of swimsuit models and porn stars and Holy Taco editors and you have to be like “Oh, I can’t, I have polio” and then you stay home and make out with a room temperature ham –WHICH …

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