Keeley Hazell Dances In Her Underwear

I think this was originally the concept for Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” video. I didn’t even know Keeley Hazell was a singer. But then I realized that the equation for a successful singing career looks like this:

T x 120% + HB x 4500% = AS

T = Talent (scale of 1-100)

HB = Hugeness of Boobs (scale of 1-100)

AS = Albums sold (in hundreds)

Thus, using said formula, Sheryl Crow’s equation for her next album would look like this:

(T)90 x 120% + (HB)4 x 4500% = 1,810.8 AS

Whereas Keeley’s equation would be:

(T)4 x 120% + (HB)99 x 4500% = 44,554.8 AS

Special thanks to the folks at M.I.T. for spending the last few weeks on this.

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