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25 Excuses For Why I’m Out of the Office Today


Although you’d never know it without me telling you, the fact is I’m not here. You’re getting this message from beyond the gra-a-a-a-ave Wait, that’s not right. You’re getting this message from yesterday. Today I have something to do. But what? …

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20 Reasons I Will Be Calling In Sick On Tuesday (None Of Which Are Mass Effect 3)


I’m going to be calling in sick on Tuesday. The reason for this will be specific and believable, but I can assure you, the reader, and everyone at Break Media, that my reason is legitimate and will have absolutely nothing to do with the release of M…

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Taking a Sick Day


A lot of you probably spend your days pondering the ins and outs of the Holy Taco office. How do we crank out so much comedy? What kind of sandwiches do we eat? How many felonies do we have between us? There’s a lot of questions and not many an…

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How Not To Take A Sick Day


  Dear Kyle,   You are a total dumbass who doesn’t understand that other people (your bosses, included) also have the Internet. The next time you take a fake sick day, maybe you should not post it on your Facebook page. Bu…

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