sperm – Holytaco

How Much Is Your Body Worth?

Money is big news. Unemployment, the 99%, shady business dealings, overpaid athletes, the world is enamored with money – who has it, who doesn’t and where it goes and how it gets there. It’s wonderful. Oh, plus one time, I found $5 right on the s…

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A Deep Voice Doesn’t Mean He Has A High Sperm Count, Says Science

posted 01/10/2012
by Luis Prada

You know how you’ll meet a guy with a really deep voice and you think to yourself, perhaps out loud, “Man, I bet he shoots massive loads bursting with gagillions of sperm cells.” Of course you think that. That’s a thing literally all of us have tho…

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According To Science, WiFi Kills Sperm. To Put It Another Way, WiFi Is A Contraceptive

posted 11/29/2011
by Luis Prada

If you and your lady have been trying to have a baby but your sperm just isn’t finding its way to the egg, then you should probably stop having sex while amid the invisible fog of your home’s WiFi connection and you should probably stop ejaculating…

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World’s Largest Sperm Bank No Longer Accepting Sperm From Redheads; No One Wants Ginger Babies

posted 09/19/2011
by Luis Prada

You want to know why people hate so called “gingers”, aka red heads? You really want to know? Here’s the answer: there is no reason. Sure, someone might give you a reason, but someone might also smear some fecal bacteria in your mouth — and b…

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Necklace of a “Pearl Necklace

posted 10/20/2010
by

Do you find yourself thinking back wistfully on all of those great moments in your life when your male sexual partner splattered his seed on your neck, thus creating the glistening neck accessory called a pearl necklace? Do you wish you coul…

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Inner Monologue of a Sperm Donor

posted 11/23/2009
by

Okay, this is easy. All I have to do is jerk off into a little plastic cup. That’s easy. I jerk off into an old t-shirt three times a day. This is no problem. Why am I so nervous? Is there a camera in here? I’d better just ma…

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A Diary Of A Sperm

posted 02/26/2009
by

You may be wondering what’s going on inside the mind of a sperm, right after he’s been shot out. Well, wonder no further, as we present to you his very heartfelt (and sadly, tragic) diary.

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Denise Richards Wants Charlie Sheen’s Sperm?

posted 05/20/2008
by

I would be really upset if Denise Richards asked me for my sperm, mostly because I feel like if I’m going to give someone my sperm, it should be done in the way God wanted it to be done: namely jerking it into a turkey baster and dropping it…

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Alexandra Paressant is a Sperm Expert

posted 12/13/2007
by

I guess having sex with the same old boring unbelievably hot celebrity starlet can get tiring, too. French model and sex kitten Alexandra Paressant is claiming to have had a two month affair with San Antonio Spurs French guard Tony Parker (If Tim D…

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How Much Is Your Body Worth?

A Deep Voice Doesn’t Mean He Has A High Sperm Count, Says Science

According To Science, WiFi Kills Sperm. To Put It Another Way, WiFi Is A Contraceptive

World’s Largest Sperm Bank No Longer Accepting Sperm From Redheads; No One Wants Ginger Babies

Necklace of a “Pearl Necklace

Inner Monologue of a Sperm Donor

A Diary Of A Sperm

Denise Richards Wants Charlie Sheen’s Sperm?

Alexandra Paressant is a Sperm Expert

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