Explore Holy Taco

The Tour de France Just Started, and It’s as Pointless as Ever


I’m genuinely confused as to why we’re even bothering with the Tour de France anymore. A whole bunch of druggies get on their Huffys and ride around France until people tell them they can stop. And that’s pretty much it. You can…

Read Full Article

God Has Nothing to Do With the Super Bowl, You F***ing Idiots


If you really believe God is omnipotent and benevolent, answer a question for us: Why does God’s plan for the human race include football?

Read Full Article

5 Non-SuperBowl Bowl Games We’d Like To See


The big game this Sunday is going to be padded with advertisements, gimmicks and promos. They’re half the reason for even paying attention to the game. The PR stunts we’re particularly into are the alternate fake games, like the puppy bo…

Read Full Article

Sporting Chance: 5 Obscure Sports that Will Help you in a Zombie Apocalypse


The world is lousy with zombies these days; the Walking Dead, the GOP Debates and now, Break Media is dropping Zombie Parkour Runner on your iPhone or, if you’re fancy, iPad. It’s the only game you’ll play this month in which you’re required to us…

Read Full Article

Sports That Never Took Off, For Obvious Reasons


Popular Science recently dug into its archives and posted a few pages from old issues that covered emerging fad sports. Sports they thought might actually become part of the mainstream. It doesn’t take a popular scientist, or even a person wi…

Read Full Article

Things Only Old People Are Into: Freestyle Canoeing [Video]


Let’s go ahead and add this to the list of reasons why there’s severe generational gap in America. How can America’s youth respect it’s elders when it’s elders are into some really boring crap? Take freestyle canoeing,…

Read Full Article

Hog Calling Is Definitely A Real Thing


So now that we’ve done away with our girl galleries, we’ve realized we have a responsibility to educate the masses. Which is why we put together this video with footage from a hog calling contest. Yeah, you know, hog calling. You didn&#…

Read Full Article

The Full-Body Bump Is The Dumbest Thing In Sports

Full Body Bump

If you check out the Wiki page for the high five you’ll find this highly technical description: The high five is a celebratory hand gesture that occurs when two people simultaneously raise one hand, about head high, and push, slide or slap the flat…

Read Full Article

Incredibly Dangerous Children’s Activities That Aren’t Really Dangerous

Wiffle Ball Unsafe?

Well, the state of NY has officially made sure that the children of the future will be soft-skinned, doughy pussies. Lawn darts used to be the only kids activity on the “too dangerous” list (and probably rightfully so), but now NY state…

Read Full Article

Bringham Young University’s Basketball Team Is Fueled By Sexual Frustration


Leave it to the Mormon’s to remove probably the biggest perk of being a college basketball player — the college girls. Brandon Davies was removed from BYU’s basketball team because he admitted to having sex with his girlfriend. So…

Read Full Article

Holy Taco’s Sports Talk: Carmelo Anthony’s Trade To The Knicks and Its Impact On The Playoff Race

Carmello Anthony Nuggest Knicks

Carmelo Anthony is a player of sport. Specifically, he is a player of the National Basketball Association, a league that, from what I hear, has recently become famous for having its participants attempt to place a bumpy orange spherical bladder in …

Read Full Article