Stephen Hawking Is PISSED At Anonymous

In case you haven’t seen it, there’s a group called “Anonymous” that has made several videos threatening the church of scientology. Check one out here. Recently, Stephen Hawking saw these videos and was more than just a bit upset. Now, he’s made his own video response. Check it out below:

Stephen Hawking Answers Anonymous - Watch more free videos

In case you had trouble hearing, here’s the transcript:

This is a message to Anonymous from Stephen Hawking. Hey, tough guy, where do you get off stealing my voice? You talk big smack to scientology but what will you do when I rain down my wheels of fury upon your candy ass? This is my voice. Not yours. Mine. You hear me you son of a bitch? I was telling the world about cosmic worm holes while you were still a load in your father’s nut sack. Do you know how many e-mails I have gotten from people asking why I hate Tom Cruise? Do you know how long it takes to respond to an e-mail when you can not move your hands? Unlike Scientology, I do not have a litigious nature. If you fuck with me, I will come to your house and rape your dog in front of you. I will sew your asshole shut and keep feeding you and feeding you and feeding you. That is right. I am a crazy motherfucker. Just try me, bitch. Hawking out.

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Mariah Carey Wants To Be Stephen Hawking

Mariah Carey doesn’t like to talk when she’s on vocal rest. So, being the brain-genius that she is, she’s hatched a plan to use the famed physicist’s voice machine to make sure all her important messages get across. According to Female First:

She said: “Before a big show I have to do ‘vocal rest’ where I’m not allowed to speak for two days. It’s so boring having to write notes to everyone! I need Stephen Hawking’s voice machine for when I’m on vocal rest.

“I’d like a machine where I can just think and it comes out in a robot voice - that would be amazing!”

How important could Mariah’s messages be? I put together a sample robot voice so we can all get a feel for how Mariah would probably use it. Click here to hear it.

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