stupid – Holytaco

The Morning Jolt – This is What Suck Looks Like

Hello Little Printer, available 2012 from BERG on Vimeo. This is the Little Printer. It will waste tiny rolls of paper making little newspapers for you based on shit your friends send you. There is literally no reason for it to exist.

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25 of the Lamest Looking Movie Villains Ever

posted 09/09/2011
by Ian Fortey

Everyone is all a-twitter with news of how George Lucas is violating Star Wars again. And while he’s turned Vader into the lamest sounding villain ever, at least he still looks cool. Not like these jokers.

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25 Derp Animals

posted 06/09/2011
by Ian Fortey

I guess the best way to describe these animals is hurr durr.

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The JumpSnap: Holy Taco’s Indispensible Product of the Week

posted 01/12/2011
by Ian Fortey

If you’re like the Holy Taco staff, you shun light and have not known the gentle touch of another. But probably you also look like you were loosely assembled form marshmallow fluff and stubble. You need to work out. But man, working out is such …

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The San Diego Chargers Are a Bunch of Gluten-Free Little B*tches

posted 12/13/2010
by Jame Gumb

“Welcome to Qualcomm Stadium’s Gluten-Free Zone. You are a vagina.” Traveling to a professional sporting event outside of your hometown is usually a fun experience. Even if it’s a team you hate, it’s interesting to see the game f…

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The Inner Monologue of an IKEA Employee When His Employer Gave Him a Free Bike

posted 12/10/2010
by admin

By Danny Gallagher Bonus time, here I come! After endless months of stacking boxes and directing people to furniture brand names that make me sound like my mouth is having a seizure, I’m finally going to get some extra dough that I can put to…

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The 14 Biggest Pitfalls of Drug Trafficking

posted 09/15/2010
by

No one at Holy Taco is particularly experienced in drug pushing. One of our interns got suspended in 8th grade for trading Flintstone vitamins for half of another kid’s Lunchables, but that’s about it. Unless you count pot as a drug,…

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6 Threats to San Luis Obispo (Once They Destroy PedoBear)

posted 09/13/2010
by

Internetters under 18, beware, Pedobear is loose in San Luis Obispo, California and he may not be quite as retarded as local law enforcement. If that’s the case, the town may be doomed to fall into a 4chanian fugue state of terror and mayhem…

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25 Ridiculous Robots

posted 09/12/2010
by

9 times out of 10 robots are awesome. Here’s that other time, 25 times over.

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12 Ridiculous Facebook Pages

posted 08/25/2010
by

Facebook has changed the world in so many ways that we promise we can thoroughly describe so long as you don’t actually ask us to, or in fact ask any follow up questions at all. We all know Facebook and none of us know why we have it, b…

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25 New Laws for Elmhurst, Illinois: America’s Butthole

posted 08/18/2010
by

Elmhurst, Illinois; an idyllic little town of roughly 43,000 citizens. It’s the former home of Keebler cookies, and the online porn capital of America. And recently, a citizen was ejected form a city council meeting after rolling her eyes a…

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The Morning Jolt – This is What Suck Looks Like

25 of the Lamest Looking Movie Villains Ever

25 Derp Animals

The JumpSnap: Holy Taco’s Indispensible Product of the Week

The San Diego Chargers Are a Bunch of Gluten-Free Little B*tches

The Inner Monologue of an IKEA Employee When His Employer Gave Him a Free Bike

The 14 Biggest Pitfalls of Drug Trafficking

6 Threats to San Luis Obispo (Once They Destroy PedoBear)

25 Ridiculous Robots

12 Ridiculous Facebook Pages

25 New Laws for Elmhurst, Illinois: America’s Butthole

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