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25 Things That Make You an Objectively Bad Person

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Listen, I’m no expert on life, love and how things work, but I’m probably more qualified to make decisions about those things than a large percentage of the world. I base this belief on my powers of observation and the fact I’ve witnessed so many i…

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The Morning Jolt – This is What Suck Looks Like

The Morning Jolt – This is What Suck Looks Like

Hello Little Printer, available 2012 from BERG on Vimeo. This is the Little Printer. It will waste tiny rolls of paper making little newspapers for you based on shit your friends send you. There is literally no reason for it to exist.

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25 of the Lamest Looking Movie Villains Ever

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Everyone is all a-twitter with news of how George Lucas is violating Star Wars again. And while he’s turned Vader into the lamest sounding villain ever, at least he still looks cool. Not like these jokers.

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25 Derp Animals

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I guess the best way to describe these animals is hurr durr.

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The JumpSnap: Holy Taco’s Indispensible Product of the Week

JUMPSNAP

If you’re like the Holy Taco staff, you shun light and have not known the gentle touch of another. But probably you also look like you were loosely assembled form marshmallow fluff and stubble. You need to work out. But man, working out is such …

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The San Diego Chargers Are a Bunch of Gluten-Free Little B*tches

The San Diego Chargers Are a Bunch of Gluten-Free Little B*tches

“Welcome to Qualcomm Stadium’s Gluten-Free Zone. You are a vagina.” Traveling to a professional sporting event outside of your hometown is usually a fun experience. Even if it’s a team you hate, it’s interesting to see the game f…

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The Inner Monologue of an IKEA Employee When His Employer Gave Him a Free Bike

The Inner Monologue of an IKEA Employee When His Employer Gave Him a Free Bike

By Danny Gallagher Bonus time, here I come! After endless months of stacking boxes and directing people to furniture brand names that make me sound like my mouth is having a seizure, I’m finally going to get some extra dough that I can put to…

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The 14 Biggest Pitfalls of Drug Trafficking

The 14 Biggest Pitfalls of Drug Trafficking

No one at Holy Taco is particularly experienced in drug pushing. One of our interns got suspended in 8th grade for trading Flintstone vitamins for half of another kid’s Lunchables, but that’s about it. Unless you count pot as a drug,…

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6 Threats to San Luis Obispo (Once They Destroy PedoBear)

6 Threats to San Luis Obispo (Once They Destroy PedoBear)

Internetters under 18, beware, Pedobear is loose in San Luis Obispo, California and he may not be quite as retarded as local law enforcement. If that’s the case, the town may be doomed to fall into a 4chanian fugue state of terror and mayhem…

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25 Ridiculous Robots

25 Ridiculous Robots

  9 times out of 10 robots are awesome.  Here’s that other time, 25 times over.  

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12 Ridiculous Facebook Pages

12 Ridiculous Facebook Pages

Facebook has changed the world in so many ways that we promise we can thoroughly describe so long as you don’t actually ask us to, or in fact ask any follow up questions at all.  We all know Facebook and none of us know why we have it, b…

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