March 13th, 2008 | 11:00
This one’s pretty weird, so let’s get right into it. According to msnbc.com:
NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years, and they’re investigating whether she was mistreated.
It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat.
“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Sheriff Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”
“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,”’ Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”
How stupid do you have be to wait two years before you call the police to get your clearly insane girlfriend out of the bathroom? I imagine a lot of conversations like this:
Boyfriend: Honey…breakfast is ready. Can you please come out of the bathroom.
Girlfriend: Thanks, Hon. But I’m OK.
Boyfriend: Are you sure? I made your favorite. Blueberry waffles.
Girlfriend: Wow. That sounds great. But my skin has grown over the toilet seat. If I stand up my legs will rip off.
Boyfriend: I even got that maple butter you like so much. Why don’t you come sit down at the table.
Girlfriend: It hurts so much. I can only feel pain. Please help.
Boyfriend: OK, well come out whenever you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you.
Girlfriend: Please, for the love of Christ, call for help.
Boyfriend: I love you, too!
Repeat 700 times.
girlfriend, toilet, two years
(9)
