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An Open Letter to the Non Toilet Trained

Toilet

Hey there, dribble guts, how goes it? That’s rhetorical, I’m well aware of your problems, at least a few of them. And that’s kind of why we need to talk.

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The 10 Dirtiest Places in Your House

dirty-home-7

According to the CDC, you are disgusting. Everything you do is repugnant in every way and this is demonstrated by the sheer volume of filth and awfulness in your home. But don’t feel bad, it’s just as revolting in everyone else’s house. Except o…

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According To A New Study, Humans Prefer Writing Status Updates To Flushing Away Their Poop

Facebook vs Flushing Toilets

If a Jigsaw-like serial murderer kidnapped you and posed you with this very simple question, how would you respond? Which is more important to you, Facebook or using the toilet to do whatever it is you do with toilets? Seems like a simple question,…

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Voyeur Hides In Porta Potty; Presumably To Scare The Crap Out of You

Head In Toilet

Peeping Toms have been around for centuries. The term itself originates from the legend of Lady Godiva and her historic (if not totally true) nude horse ride through the streets of Coventry. Her husband, who had so heavily taxed his town’s citizens…

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The Traumatizing Stages of an Emergency Number-Two

bathroom

Let’s get really immature here: taking a nice, relaxing number-two in your own home is one of the great small, daily joys in life. In our own homes, around everything that makes us comfortable, that’s where we drop our best deuces. When we’re away …

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25 Filthy People Eating in the Bathroom

cookies on the toilet

Listen, you do not eat in the bathroom. YOU DO NOT EAT IN THE BATHROOM!

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Clown Robs Woman on Toilet…is a damn fine headline

Clown Robs Woman on Toilet…is a damn fine headline

When we woke up today we didn’t feel the world would provide us with a news story about a clown that robbed a 70-year-old woman as she sat on a toilet. That’s just not that kind of thing we mentally prepare ourselves to hear about on …

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Guest Article by The Toilet Devil

Guest Article by The Toilet Devil

The world is a crazy place. If you’re not fleeing from Bigfoot, El Chupacabra or Tea Party candidates, then you’re at home taking a shower while the devil leers at your naked nudity. Oh yeah, he’s in there. Hadn’t heard? …

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Resolved Questions: American Poop and European Toilets

Resolved Questions: American Poop and European Toilets

Today’s question comes to us from Yahoo! Answers user JOhn. JOhn writes: Best answer from a Yahoo! Answers user: “You should be very worried.”

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A Thank You Letter To Painful Bowel Movements

A Thank You Letter To Painful Bowel Movements

Dear, Painful Bowel Movements Hey, you know one thing I love about life? Waking up in the morning, having a cup of coffee, taking a few drags off of a cigarette, then getting a peculiar sensation in my bowels that can only be described as poop samu…

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A Lesson In Cultural Understanding: Islamic Toilet Etiquette

A Lesson In Cultural Understanding: Islamic Toilet Etiquette

During war, America likes to dehumanize its enemies and turn them in to one-dimensional characters. We’re not in that business. We feel everyone one earth is a one-dimensional character that deserves to be mocked mercilessly. But we also feel…

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