Tom Brady Calls Role Play

I’ve seen Shawshank Redemption probably 100 times.  It’s a fantastic movie.  But at right about my 80th viewing, at the very end when Andy and Red hug on the beach at Zihuatanejo, I for some reason really wanted a killer whale to suddenly beach itself and clamp its jaws around Andy, biting him in half, then retreat into the ocean with the top half of Andy.  Then have Red hold the bottom half of Andy in his arms and look to the sky and vow to seek revenge on the Killer Whale.  I tell you this because I want to make the point that no matter how amazing something is, sometimes you get bored with it and wish something would spice it up.  Hollywood Rag reports:

Tom Brady wants girlfriend Gisele to dress up like Wonder Woman.  “I want her to wear the Wonder Woman outfit,” said Brady.

You know, I bitch often on this site about dudes who pretty much bang as they please with whoever they want, but to be honest, I never want to get to the point where I’m so bored with vagina, that I need my super model girlfriend to dress up as something other than my super model girlfriend.

Plus, I’m pretty sure Brady is bullshitting.  I’ve seen how he stares at Wes Welker on third and 10 even though Randy Moss is alone in the end zone waving.  It’s clear what he wants Gisele to dress as.

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55% Want To Bed Bridget Moynahan

It was a close vote, but 55% of your decided you’d rather bang Tom Brady’s ex, than Tom Brady’s current.  Either way, Tom Brady’s banged them both, so even though he blew it in the Super Bowl, his life is still 100,000,000,000,000 times better than all of ours.

Now, real reactions from actual readers.  You can see their comments in our NEW COMMENT SECTION of WWYRD.  Yeah, that’s right, we have a comments section now so you we can hear your perverted thought processes.

CORY - I enjoy sex

EVAN - Bridget’s last name makes me think of mayonnaise, which turns me on.

JR - Anybody who would rather do BM instead of Giselle is flaming.

[editors note - It took me twenty minutes to realize that BM stood for Bridget Moynahan and not bowel movement.  I’m seriously like five years old. 

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Everyone Watched The Patriots Suck

I must say, that was one of the better Super Bowls I’ve watched. And apparently, I’m not the only one who watched it. ESPN.com reports:

The New York Giants’ thrilling win over New England was the most-watched Super Bowl ever with 97.5 million viewers, a total that is second only to the M*A*S*H* finale audience, Nielsen Media Research said Monday.

I did some research and found that in both the finale of M*A*S*H* and this year’s Super Bowl, the story line involved Tom Brady choking.

Oh that’s right! I went there! I went there via photoshop!

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Tom Brady Runs Up Score On DiCaprio

People.com reports

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady braved the freezing temperatures of New York City to party at hotspot Butter Monday night.  Just one problem:  Her ex-boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio, was sitting just two tables away.

The old flames did not interact, with Gisele cuddling up to Brady in a corner banquette while DiCaprio spent most of the night messaging on his PDA.  As the night wound down, Buncdchen and Brady left hand-in-hand - and DiCaprio didn’t even look up.

In related news, somewhere outside of Hoboken, Eli Manning went to a Denny’s with Camryn Manheim and ran into an assistant manager he used to date.

Seriously though, put up a fight DiCaprio, Jesus.  You can’t just go into “Overweight Sorority Girl” mode and start pretending to text message people just cause you’ve been out-penised.  You gotta go onto that dance floor, find the sluttiest woman available, start dirty dancing with her, then “accidentally” get near Tom and Gisele’s table.  Then start doing one of those sloppy revenge makeouts, where you’re licking the girls face while you stare out of the corner of your eye at your ex.  Then when Gisele makes eye contact with you, be like “oh, I didn’t even know you guys were here.  Let me buy you a round.  I gotta take off now because this random woman is going to fellate me while I watch a recording of last years AFC championship game where the colts kicked the shit ouf of you guys.  Then pat Brady on the back and go “No offense, Tom,” as you laugh heartily.

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