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25 Ways to Show Carmageddon Who’s Boss

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If you’re not in California, Carmageddon may just be a video game to you. But it’s worth noting that, in and around Los Angeles, the 405 freeway is being shut down for massive construction. Is this a big deal? Big enough that every m…

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A Jogger’s Guide To Traversing Any City

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Seeing as my job as a writer on this fine site requires me to sit on my ass all day, I’m prone to gaining weight as a result of my lack of physical activity. To combat this, I jog at least 5 days a week. Jogging so often in a major city can be toug…

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If Your Band Sucks, Don’t Back Up Traffic With Your Sucky Band

If Your Band Sucks, Don’t Back Up Traffic With Your Sucky Band

Have you heard of a “hardcore hiphop” band called Imperial Stars? You know what, it doesn’t even matter, because there’s a very good chance that if you haven’t heard of them yet, this article will be the last time you…

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A Letter To The Guy That Honks Just as The Light Turns Green

A Letter To The Guy That Honks Just as The Light Turns Green

Hey, Guy That Honks Just As The Light Turns Green As we sat in our car, patiently awaiting that precious moment when the street light transforms its face from a belligerent, angry red, to a happy, approving green, we couldn’t help but notice …

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How To: Get Out of a Speeding Ticket

How To: Get Out of a Speeding Ticket

 Traffic tickets are a huge pain in the ass.  They’re entirely dependant on the attitude of the cop who pulled you over, and if he’s having a bad day, then you’re completely f*cked. Luckily, there’s a possible way o…

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Inner Monologue of the Cop Who Pulled You Over

Inner Monologue of the Cop Who Pulled You Over

Alright, let’s see: this guy’s driving a 2004 Honda Civic that’s completely beat to shit.  There’s no way this idiot can afford a traffic ticket.  Well, I might as well utilize my position of authority to ruin his e…

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Inner Monologue of the Idiot Driving In Front Of You This Morning

Inner Monologue of the Idiot Driving In Front Of You This Morning

Oh my goodness gracious!  Aren’t I just the early bird today?  Well, if I keep going at this zippy pace, I’m going to be early for work today, and I certainly don’t want that.  The next thing I know, they’ll be…

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If There’s Not An Exit, Make Your Own

If There’s Not An Exit, Make Your Own

We’ve all contemplated doing this at some point, because traffic sucks. But we’ve all contemplated doing a lot of dumb shit that we never do because we’re not stupid. I think my favorite part of this is the outraged traffic repo…

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