tv – Holytaco

How to End the Simpsons

So, you’ve decided to end the longest running, funniest show in the history of television that has, according to many, suffered a severe slide in quality over the past few (dozen) years. Good for you! But you can’t end a television icon on a whim,…

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Midseason TV Schedules from the Year 2022

posted 01/13/2012
by Ian Fortey

Welcome to January and a whole stunning crop of terrible new shows on TV. You’d think with all the shit that premiers in September you’d seen every turd TV had to offer, but you’d be wrong. Case in point – Rob Schneider ha…

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You’re Doing it Wrong: Surviving the Walking Dead

posted 10/17/2011
by Ian Fortey

Last night was the premiere of season 2 of AMC’s the Walking Dead. You may be surprised to learn that people died in this episode, much as they died in every episode of the show so far, and every issue of the graphic novel which is sort of the bas…

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Fred Durst’s New Sitcom

posted 10/14/2011
by Jim Tews

Well, thanks again to our connections in Hollywood, we’re able to show you the opening scene of the half-hour comedy pilot that CBS is producing with former Limp-Bizkit frontman, Fred Durst… FADE IN:INT. FRED’S BEDROOM – LA…

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Why Was Kate Walsh Roasting Charlie Sheen?

posted 09/20/2011
by Jim Tews

Why Was Kate Walsh Roasting Charlie Sheen?

We hope that you were all as bored and depraved as we are. If you are, then you definitely watched The Roast of Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central last night. The dais was full of really funny people, and convicted criminals that we now find funny. On…

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25 Completely Ridiculous Images from Dancing with the Stars

posted
by Ian Fortey

So Dancing with the Stars premiered last night and now everyone’s impressed that Nancy Grace has boobs. Well not us. Even a nursing orangutan has boobs, doesn’t make it a good person. Although most orangutans are probably better peop…

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The War on TV: 6 Inexplicably War-Themed Shows

posted 07/26/2011
by Ian Fortey

war/wôr/ Noun: A state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. For reasons no one will care to explain because it’s barely worth thinking …

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A Scene From Charlie Sheen’s New Sitcom

posted 06/28/2011
by Jim Tews

Well, it’s happening everybody. Charlie Sheen is working on a new sitcom. You saw it coming, you can’t do anything to stop it, and the psychological damage is permanent. Much like your parents’ divorce. According to inside reports…

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Modernizing The Flinstones

posted 05/17/2011
by Jim Tews

Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane has been tasked to reboot The Flinstones for Fox in 2012. Seeing as though every one of his other projects is an animated sitcom about a fat dumb husband, a skinny, attractive wife, and their family troubles, he wi…

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25 Storylines to Introduce Ashton Kutcher to Two and a Half Men

posted 05/13/2011
by Ian Fortey

So Ashton Kutcher is going to replace Charlie Sheen and if there’s a way you can watch a show even less than not watching it at all, we’re on it. Despite that, producers still need a way to transition the characters and, because Holy T…

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Hey MTV, We Got Your Jersey Shore Spinoffs Right Here!

posted 04/08/2011
by Jim Tews

Great news for those of you who were hoping to see more of the Jersey Shore cast members on television! (I’m addressing you here because there’s no way I’d speak to you in real life.) MTV has green lit spinoffs for Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Paul “DJ…

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How to End the Simpsons

Midseason TV Schedules from the Year 2022

You’re Doing it Wrong: Surviving the Walking Dead

Fred Durst’s New Sitcom

Why Was Kate Walsh Roasting Charlie Sheen?

25 Completely Ridiculous Images from Dancing with the Stars

The War on TV: 6 Inexplicably War-Themed Shows

A Scene From Charlie Sheen’s New Sitcom

Modernizing The Flinstones

25 Storylines to Introduce Ashton Kutcher to Two and a Half Men

Hey MTV, We Got Your Jersey Shore Spinoffs Right Here!

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