Nick Hogan Hates His Cell

So apparently Nick Hogan hasn’t been adjusting to jail very well.  The New York Post reports:

 ”They have him in a cell by himself, isolated from the general population, because of threats. He didn’t understand how awful jail really is until now.”

First off, I like how people are surprised he’s not adjusting well to jail.  Who the f%&k goes to jail and is like “wow, you know, I thought this was going to be bad, but really, I haven’t missed a beat!  I normally spend my waking hours making sure no one is planning on raping me, so this was just more of the same, except now I have more time for reading.”

Secondly, how could Nick Hogan have NOT understood how awful jail was.  Did he not see the episode of Family Matters where Carl is forced to throw Urkel in jail for grand theft auto, even though it was only a hilarious misunderstanding? The thing is, Nick Hogan is getting special treatment.  If there’s anybody who watches wrestling, it’s prison guards, and they’re for sure fans of the Hulkster.  I think Hogan’s cell probably looks something like this:

See, rapes occur most frequently when an inmate is urinating, that’s when the Ultimate Warrior stands guard allowing Hogan to piss while making what seems to be an incredibly smug face.

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