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My Perfect Valentine’s Day Night


Put my foot in your mouth, internet.

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What Happens When You Have Valentine’s Reservations at White Castle?


Eating at White Castle on Valentine’s Day is like going to Hooters on Easter Sunday, but less spiritual

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Lies I’ve Told On Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day is a day for proving your love to those you’re romantically involved with. It’s also a day full of reasons to lie to people! There’s like a million opportunities to lie to people on Valentine’s Day. You…

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25 Things That Will Give You Hepatitis


Happy Valentine’s Day! Did you know hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver and there’s like a dozen different kinds of hepatitis, some viral and some not and that it’s totally way more common than you thought? What we’re…

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9 Valentines Sex Scenes to Get You In the Mood


It’s Valentine’s Day! Are you ready to be intimate? We sure are. The best way to engage in such intimacy is to learn from masters and who better to teach you than the Hollywood elite? We’ve assembled a pastiche of some of the hottest sex scenes in f…

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Valentine’s Day Cards For The Permanently Friend-Zoned


We’ve all been relegated to the friend zone a time or twelve, and it’s never fun. It gets particularly painful around Valentine’s day, when you’re forced to watch your lady friends pair up with guys other than you. Honestly, …

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How to Celebrate a Virtual Valentine’s Day


Commercials for Match.com assure us that 105% of all new relationships start online these days, and that’s a lot. Times have changed and no longer do people want to actually be near other people. Friends are filthy albatrosses around our necks and…

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Our Valentine’s Gift To You: Two and a Half Men is Getting Its Season Cut Down


It’s no secret that we at Holy Taco are no fans of Two and a Half Men. We will occasionally and randomly poke fun at it in our articles for no other reason than because the show is terrible and yet it continues to exist. We also tend to poke fun at…

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5 Ways To Prove To Your Ex-girlfriend That You’re Doing Just Fine Without Her This Valentine’s Day!


So you’re single this Valentine’s day because she bailed on you earlier this year. Oh well, there’s plenty of fish in the proverbial sea, and plenty of floozies on the literal internet. You’ll be fine! WE’LL be fine! I…

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25 Cupids Who Won’t Put You In the Mood

fat cupid

Cupid is supposed to be the delightful little cherub who makes you fall in love. These are just awful people in worse costumes.

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Buni is a lover, not a fighter.

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