I don't trust this parrot. He seems like the kind of bird that would hide in a dumpster with a knife and lure you over with his baby impression, only to rob and kill you. Evil. Pure evil.
All of these girls are really hot, but since none of us currently have a snowball's chance in Hell with any of them, let the unwarranted criticism on the comment section begin!
Hi, Billy Mays here from beyond the grave to bring you the newest, coolest way to freak out your girlfriend. Just take my rotten, decomposed, severed head and place it on the pillow next to her. Then, wake her up by poking her in the ass with a big, fake, green penis. Bam! You've got yourself one freaked out girlfriend.
Cops Caught Playing Wii During Drug Raid (TotalProSports)
We're not posting this video to make fun of this guy, infact, we're posting it because we think this guy is awesome. He's awesome and ten times more metal than you or anyone else will ever be.
Crows are f*cking smart. They're resourceful and clever, and they possess ingenuity and problem-solving skills that surpass any other winged creature out there. Crows are "the guy from beautiful mind" of the bird world, except that girl crows aren't quite as hot as Jennifer Connelly. Fortunately, this means they're a lot of fun to watch. Unfortunately, it means that in a few hundred years or so, crows could develop some key abilities that would eventually allow them to conquer the world:
The Use of Tools
There was a scientist last year who proposed that we start building vending machine's for crows in major cities. Basically, his thought was that we could teach crows to pick up litter and deposit it into a machine that would then reward them with treats. This idea would probably work, too, because crows are really good at figuring out tools, mechanics, and cause-and-effect relationships. People run tests with crows all the time, where they put some food at the bottom of a tube, and the crow has to figure out how to get it out with some wire, like this:
I used to think that "Belly Flop" was a technique that involved jumping stomach-first into a pool. Apparently I was wrong, and it's just anyone falling into a body of water. It's still funny though.
Football season is nearly upon us again, and that means it's a good time to take a look back at where football really came from: shitty '80s rap videos! You see, a long time ago, a bunch of athletic men got together to make terrible rap songs about football. Then they decided that, since they liked rapping about football, maybe they should play it as well, and the NFL was born (this may be entirely inaccurate). Here are some of the best NFL rap videos in the history of NFL rap videos.
Can't Touch Us
Performed by the Miami Dolphins
This video features such timeless classics as Zubaz pants, MC Hammer, and a keytar. The only thing missing is ALF, Mr. T playing with a Rubix Cube, some Growing Pains re-runs, and a Mr. Body cameo. (Editor's Note: Please be sure to note the late, great Reggie Roby (#4). He's the Jackie Robinson of punting.)
Apparently Jerry Rice borrows his rapping skills from Stephen Hawking and his sweaters from Bill Cosby. This video raises so many questions: why is someone drumming on a mixing console? Were these special FX created by a retarded 12-year old? Why is Doug DuBose so upset about everything? Is it because he had to do this shitty rap video?
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
