It's hard to believe that we've never had a "Best Talk Show Fights" article on Holy Taco before. Stupid people fighting and Holy Taco go together like water balloons and urine. Here are some of our favorite talk show fights:
Midget vs. Smaller Midget
This is universally considered the best talk show fight clip ever, and it's pretty easy to understand why. On the one hand, I'm rooting for the bigger midget, because, being a midget, he rarely has the opportunity to just manhandle someone like this, and I'm proud to see him taking advantage of it. On the other hand, the smaller midget can't get up if he falls down, so he just crawls around like a seal, and that's entertaining as hell to watch.
Talk Show Host vs. Guests
I'm not sure where this show is from, but I'm guessing it's probably somewhere in Eastern Europe, or another place where people have to learn to kick ass at a very young age in order to survive. Eastern Europe also seems like one of the only places where they would design a talk show set that looks so much like the lair of a James Bond villain.
Old Lady vs. Really Old Lady
This is kind of like watching a really shitty fight in slow-motion, but it's just nice to see these old ladies getting some exercise. Plus, am I the only one who thinks babushkas are sexy as hell?
Hot Bikini Babe vs. Ugly Bikini Babe/Hotter Bikini Babe vs. Host
This isn't really a very good fight video, but it does contain a bunch of hot babes in bikinis, and after that old lady fight up there, we thought you might like that.
Getting behind the wheel of a car when you're wasted is one of the stupidest things you can do, but some people still do it. So when the cops pull them over, we are given a reality show that's better than all the Real World's, Tool Academy's and Fear Factor's combined. Here are a few important things to remember if your an idiot who drinks and drives, and then gets caught:
If you're going down on the pavement, make sure you don't use your hands, arms or shoulders to soften the blow. Your head is a great way to break that fall.
Note to wasted idiots everywhere: If you drop your license, let the officer pick it up. But, if you do decide to pick it up, make sure your ass crack is showing and you make a nice sighing noise as your head goes through the nearby wall.
Fan Boys: If you're unsure of where to spend the Holidays, look no further. This video will have you gassing up your homemade X-Wing and scrambling to find new batteries for that Fleshlight you pretend is a lightsaber.
This might be the best weatherman ever. You can tell that the anchorman is totaly jealous that the weather guy is getting the attention of the big breasted co-anchor. He even goes as far as to draw a sad face on his score card. What a dick. You lose, anchorman. Weather guy's going to be banging the giant chested chick tonight.
I don't trust this parrot. He seems like the kind of bird that would hide in a dumpster with a knife and lure you over with his baby impression, only to rob and kill you. Evil. Pure evil.
All of these girls are really hot, but since none of us currently have a snowball's chance in Hell with any of them, let the unwarranted criticism on the comment section begin!
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