Britney Spears Reveals Why She’s a Mess

Rolling Stone this week released an article about the downfall of Britney Spears, according to people.com. Here’s some of the revelations:

• When she was a teen, her mom let her have breast implants.

Surprising, but not totally shocking.

• Her dad was an alcoholic

That was shocking much in the same way the ending of Pearl Harbor was shocking.

• Through out her career she lobbied to appear sluttier

Great, when she was hot no one would let her appear slutty. Now she looks likes a cross between an inflatable raft and a can of Pringles and nobody says shit when she dresses like a Croation hooker.

• She reportedly slept with dancer Wade Robson

Excuse me, what? WHAT?! WADE F-ING ROBSON the competitive dancer?! You’re telling me, when she was smoking hot and she could bang anyone she wanted to, she banged this guy?!:

He looks like someone with cerebral palsy trying to shake a dump out of their pants. I bet even Spencer Pratt thinks Wade Robson is a douchebag. I hate everyone.

(7)