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25 Things to do on Spring Break when you don’t get Spring Break

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Spring Break is the domain of children and young adults whose chief responsibilities include beer and tits. Man, that’s awesome. But this will only work for a few years after which time you’re going to have to think up a new Spring Break plan of a…

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Man Saws Off Own Foot To Get Out of Work

Bloody-Saw-Blade

There’s a strange phenomenon out there in the world involving people that desperately want a day off from work. I’ve written about it before. It’s that strange, somewhat illogical mentality found in people that put a lot of work in to making sure th…

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20 Reasons I Will Be Calling In Sick On Tuesday (None Of Which Are Mass Effect 3)

ME3-Large

I’m going to be calling in sick on Tuesday. The reason for this will be specific and believable, but I can assure you, the reader, and everyone at Break Media, that my reason is legitimate and will have absolutely nothing to do with the release of M…

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Classic Taco: The 8 Worst Bosses to Work For

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Between having to show up at work and having to actually do work, no one likes having a job. But it doesn’t get any worse than working for one of these eight annoying bosses.

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The 6 Best Jobs for an Albino

The 6 Best Jobs for an Albino

We spend a lot of time over here making fun of mongloids, Justin Bieber, Amy Winehouse, hobos, the Tea Party, idiots, midgets, Japan, the sexually retarded, foreigners and the poor (filthy beggars) but never do we make fun of albinos, because we&rs…

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5 Legitimate Reasons to View Porn at Work

5 Legitimate Reasons to View Porn at Work

The National Science Foundation is in the news again. Normally, Holy Taco’s not big on the whole “science” thing, but luckily for us, this particular story focuses more on Internet pornography than it does clinical analysis. As it…

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25 Pictures of Women Doing Manly Things

25 Pictures of Women Doing Manly Things

  Hey man, it’s the 21st century! The days of women spending their time barefoot in the kitchen are virtually over, save for a select few holdouts who had way too many kids way too young to ever dream about living their dreams.   As…

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3 Not So Depressing Forms of Rejection

3 Not So Depressing Forms of Rejection

As an internet comedy writer, it goes without saying that I’ve dealt with my share of rejection.  Here’s where a lesser man would toss in a joke about being rejected by women but I won’t do that for two reasons.  One, I …

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How to Threaten a Coworker

How to Threaten a Coworker

We live in a bit of a soft-cornered age. An age of helmets and general pussification. Is that a bad thing? Maybe not, we have penicillin and strip clubs and other things that prevent slow, painful deaths so that ain’t bad. On the other ha…

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Celebrities Doing Jobs They Shouldn’t

Celebrities Doing Jobs They Shouldn’t

Being a famous celebrity is the easiest job on the entire planet. But what if famous celebrities couldn’t be celebrities anymore and had to venture out into the world to get normal jobs like you and me? Most of them would be alright, but some …

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The Unemployment Bingo Drinking Game

The Unemployment Bingo Drinking Game

We realize that many of our readers are currently unemployed, either because they’re in junior high, or because the current economy is shittier than DiCaprio’s Boston accent.  We’ve been unemployed before and we know how much …

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