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Talk’n Ties with Byron Scott

swastika tie

Byron Scott, Head Coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers

Man, I can’t get over how good I look in this tie! I don’t know if it’s the color, or this unique pattern, but something about it really speaks to me.

Wearing this tie makes me feel powerful, like I can go out there, and through sheer force of will, take on the whole world! No one can stand in my way with this tie. In fact, I pity anyone who thinks they can take me on dressed like this. I’m like a bad-ass stormtrooper…you know, from Star Wars. And I’ll come at you with lightening speed. Before you know what hit you, it’ll be over.

With this tie, I feel like a born leader. I’m the head honcho, A-number 1, the big kahuna! I’m large and in charge. Who is dumb enough to question my authority? Don’t they see this tie? I’m the undisputed master. I’m all powerful! My word is law!

Anybody who sees me coming better move out the way. I need breathing room, bitches! Give me some space! I need it more than you. Can’t you tell by my tie? I’m special, and I don’t have time for you inferior, non-tie wearing sorts. You people should go off and live on your own. I don’t want you messing up my tie. You’re like jealous parasites, feeding off my awesome fashion statement because you’re too weak to make your own. Pathetic. You’re probably the reason LeBron left! It was an inside job. I should have known you’d stab us in the back and try to bring the Cavs down from the inside. We’ll it’s not going to work. I’ll deal with you; all in good time.

swastika shirt

I’m going to build a whole look around this tie. First off, I’m thinking khaki for both my shirt and pants. Why not? If it looks good with the tie, that’s all that matters. Next, maybe a sash of some sort, and maybe a hat? Something like M. Bison from Street Fighter would wear. And maybe some boots, too? NBA coaches don’t wear enough boots. And to top it all off, facial hair. Nothing to showy, though. I don’t want to take away from the tie. Maybe a neatly trimmed mustache, or something. I don’t know. We’ll see.

Man, this tie is kind of tight. I know, I’ll just take it off and wrap it around my upper arm. There we go. That looks totally bad ass! I love this tie so much. I don’t know what would happen if I lost it. I’d rather end it all than face the world without it. If anything happens to this tie, I’m going to take a cyanide pill and put a bullet in my head. I’ll have the team burn my body afterward. I know that’s drastic, but I feel like I’m in an epic struggle. And in my struggle, I must be victorious. Total victory, or total defeat in this totally awesome tie. All hail the tie!

Speaking of, remind me to send Mel Gibson a thank you card for the tie. Best gift ever.

3 Responses to "Talk’n Ties with Byron Scott"

  1. Vince Offer says:

    You know the Germans make good stuff. You followin me here, camera guy?

  2. aPlateOfGrapes.com says:

    The German’s sure make some high quality ties.

  3. ShitFaBrainz says:

    I wonda wut the patturn on his undees is. I bet he’s real hung too!!