Creepy Or Sexy: Heidi Montag

June 3rd, 2008 | 08:36 pm
Creepy Or Sexy: Heidi Montag

To me, Heidi Montag is very similar to my apartment:  When it's cleaned up, if someone just briefly glances at it they think it looks pretty good.  But as soon as you take a closer look, you're horrified to see...

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Uma Thurman: Stalker Worthy?

May 6th, 2008 | 01:55 pm
Uma Thurman: Stalker Worthy?

After hearing about Uma Thurman's recent stalker troubles, I asked myself a question: If I was a stalker, would I stalk Uma Thurman? The answer was a pretty resounding "no." (Since I was playing the role of a stalker, I also was hearing voices.) Then I asked myself another question:...

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Creepy Or Sexy?: Bjork

April 20th, 2008 | 09:47 pm
Creepy Or Sexy?: Bjork

Alright, I might be crazy here, but I sorta think Bjork is sexy.  Not so much in the classical sense of "having a pretty face" or "a nice figure" but more in the "if we had sex she'd dip my testicles in gravy and ask me to paint portions of...

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Creepy Or Sexy?: Katie Holmes

April 6th, 2008 | 04:47 pm
Creepy Or Sexy?: Katie Holmes

If you would have told me a year ago, I'd be doing a Creepy Or Sexy for Katie Holmes, I would have said to you "What the f*&k is a creepy or sexy? Get away from me, I have to go back to work at my shitty restaurant." ...

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Creepy Or Sexy?: Keira Knightley

March 30th, 2008 | 10:02 pm
Creepy Or Sexy?: Keira Knightley

You may disagree, but I think Keira Knightley is the epitome of a creepy or sexy. She was so hot in Pirates of the Carribean that I actually sat through the second and third installments of those movies even though they made less sense than the erection I got...

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Creepy Or Sexy? Kirsten Dunst

March 26th, 2008 | 06:13 pm
Creepy Or Sexy? Kirsten Dunst

I gotta be honest, I never even considered Kirsten Dunst worthy of a Creepy Or Sexy.  I just thought she was creepy.  But a reader sent me this picture and I thought she was kind of sexy in it.  Of course, I had just finished watching an episode of The...

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Creepy or Sexy: Teri Hatcher

March 21st, 2008 | 12:09 am
Creepy or Sexy: Teri Hatcher

Remember when Teri Hatcher used to be smoking hot? When she was on Seinfeld and Lois and Clark she had many young teenage boys doing many young teenage boy-type things to themselves. But now, not so much. And before you think I'm saying she's ugly because she's old, I'm just...

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Creepy Or Sexy?: Victoria Beckham

March 4th, 2008 | 06:09 pm
Creepy Or Sexy?: Victoria Beckham

Sometimes I look at her and I think she looks like those evil robots from that part in Terminator 2 when they flash forward to show the apocalyptic earth in 2037 where machines rule.  But then sometimes I see her and I think she looks like a stripper with two...

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Creepy or Sexy? The Olsen Twins

February 28th, 2008 | 04:38 pm
Creepy or Sexy? The Olsen Twins

Remember when the Olsen Twins were getting ready to turn 18? There was chaos in the streets, men were visibly weeping and Jesus himself was shitting his pants. But now, when I look at them I sometimes see either Gollum or one of those troll dolls with the crazy hair....

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