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Thanks For Sleeping With Derek Jeter, Enjoy This Gift Basket!

Yankees superstar Derek Jeter is sleeping with tons of hot women, then he’s kicking them to the curb. That’s not surprising at all. I know a lot of guys who don’t play for the New York Yankees that do the exact same thing. Jeter steps it up a notch, though. When he sends supermodels high-heeling out of his place, he has a car service come get them. When they get in the car, waiting for them is a gift basket full of goodies! Like they were just members of a bridal party or something, or they just attended some sort of retail convention.

This New York Post article that explains the situation with actual journalistic integrity (unlike Holy Taco) doesn’t specify exactly what’s in the gift basket, except for one thing: A Jeter-autographed baseball. Since that gift came in an entire basket of gifts, we’ve come up with some ideas as to what else might have been included…

Bananas

Assuming these women were sent off in the morning, some fresh fruit might’ve provided a decent breakfast for the ride home.

Vitamin Water/Gatorade

Something to help the dehydration that a night of drinking cosmos will leave you with.

Aspirin

Same reason: hangover remedy.

A Souvenir T-Shirt

An Assortment of Peppridge Farm Products

 

Last but not least…

An affidavit, that must be signed by the woman stating that she will not hold Derek Jeter responsible for any babies or STD’s that come as a result of the encounter. The affidavit must be signed, or else the woman may not leave the car.

For more daily sports-related hilarity, make sure that you check out the content over at Buzzer Beat.

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