A lot of “studies” and “polls” and “research findings” come out with some pertinent information. Then, sometimes, we get studies that don’t give us any new information about the world around us. According to American Merchandiser, these are the top ten selling snacks in vending machines:
1. Snickers
2. Doritos Big Grab
3. Peanut M&Ms
4. Cheetos
5. Cheez-It Original
6. Twix
7. Strawberry frosted Pop Tarts
8. Rice Krispies Treat
9. Lay’s Chips
10. Mrs. Freshley’s Jumbo Honey Bun
So what have we learned here, class? When it comes to vending machine dining, no one ever takes the trail mix or the Plen-T-Pack of Juicy Fruit. (And there’s a company called Mrs. Freshley’s.)
If you really want to learn about the vending machine world, check out this list of the types of people who get the majority of their food out of vending machines:
1. Fat
2. Really fat
3. Pimpled
4. Has Fupa, Gunt and Bunt
5. Smelly
6. Does that snorting thing when laughing
7. Ugly
8. Bacne on Face
9. Only wears sweatpants
10. Chris Penn
See. Don’t you feel much more enlightened now? You’re welcome.
If you don’t think the the Honey Bun is the greatest snack ever, then I will fight you. Thats no lie.
cory, steve is right! leave that fat prick chris penn alone already!
Vending machines, a free extra chin with every purchase!
Fuckin’ hell! tell me she’s not seriously lettin’ her ass all hang out like that everywhere she goes. Someone please show this poor creature to a Goodwill. And I hope that stroller next to her ain’t hers. I thought it was illegal to inbreed in most states…well, at least 45/50 anyway.
You know, to be honest, I am heavy set and I know it, but I will also say if and when I do get things out of a vending machine, I get the weird stuff or whatever seems healthiest–100% fruit based fruit snacks, bag of peanuts, baked sunchips…guess i’m the odd one out of fat people.